Episode 2

I am Sophia.

I am Stephanie.

And welcome to... Let's Get Sidetracked!

Only one of us can sing and it isn't her.

That's rude.

Am I wrong?

Anyway, hey, you haven't heard me.

No, you've definitely heard me go ham on Hamilton.

Absolutely.

Or some Porter Robinson.

I don't know all the words, so I am impressed by the words that you know.

I mean, it's probably because I've been listening to it for the past 10 years.

Yeah.

Oh, is it that old?

It came out in 2015.

Shut your mouth right now.

Well, it came out in terms of like it was on Broadway in 2015.

Right.

With Lin-Manuel Miranda.

Love him.

I loved him in House, too.

He was in House.

Oh, God, he broke my heart in House.

He was so funny, but it was so sad at the end.

Yeah.

No, don't.

No spoilers.

It came out 20 plus years ago.

I know, but maybe some of you listening has not watched it yet.

Okay, if you haven't watched it, you need to watch House.

And it's not lupus.

It's not lupus.

No.

To be honest, I didn't finish the last season.

Could be sarcoidosis.

It could be.

Um, I didn't finish the last season fully because it just felt really repetitive.

It went off the rails.

Well, it went really deep.

I do.

I do love that show.

I fucking love Hugh Laurie.

I loved, um, Robert Sean Leonard, who played Wilson.

I love, uh, no.

That's the saddest part to me.

Oh, yes.

I, all the characters.

I love them.

Um, I don't.

Who played Cuddy?

Lisa.

What was her name?

No, that's Lisa Cuddy.

Oh, but what was her real name?

Uh, the character?

Yeah, I get it.

The character's name is Lisa Cuddy.

No, the person's name.

Oh, I don't know the character or the person's name.

I have to Google this.

Sorry.

Yeah.

Um, while you're on that, I actually need to watch and

nurse Jackie, but I'm finishing The Mentalist right now.

Um, The Mentalist, really good, actually.

Uh, it's, it's starting to get into the territory.

Oh, sorry.

It's Lisa, Lisa Edelstein.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

Isn't that funny?

Lisa, she was also in, um, oh, God.

Getting sidetracked right now.

She was also in, um, Keeping the Faith with, uh, yeah, with, uh, Edward Norton,

Ben Stiller, and, uh, oh, that man.

No, she's a girl.

Uh, Elfman, Jenna Elfman, Jenna Elfman.

Great show.

Ben Stiller is the most confusing person to me.

She played one of Ben Stiller's, um, dates.

And so she's crazy beautiful.

Uh, I feel like she's super smart.

I don't know a lot about her, but I feel like she looks like she's smart.

That's, that's fair.

Um, yeah, I mean, actors, am I right?

Some of them are.

I was watching, actually, earlier today, I was

watching an NCIS episode with Danica McKellar.

Mm-hmm.

And she was in, uh, The Wonder Years.

She's actually...

She's actually a, an MIT, I believe, MIT graduate.

She's a mathematician.

And ridiculously smart.

Ridiculously smart.

Ridiculous-y.

Yeah.

Ridiculous.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, I, there's so many actors.

I, Hugh Lorraine, fantastic.

Wait, who?

Hugh Lorraine.

You mean Hugh Laurie?

Oh, I, I've never heard, I've never heard his name said.

Oh, yes.

Yeah.

No, Hugh Lorraine.

Hugh Laurie.

Hugh Laurie.

Like, L-A-U-R-R-I-E, Laurie.

Then that, that clarifies it.

Um, fantastic actor.

Um, I didn't learn until I saw an audition tape that he's British.

Yeah, he is not English.

I mean, American English.

No, yeah.

Yeah.

Uh, I, I've been meaning to watch, I think that's next on my list is to watch

Blackadder Goes Forth and just Blackadder in general.

Oh, I haven't watched that.

It, it has, uh, Rowan Atkinson in it.

Mm-hmm.

It has...

It has all of the, like, British people you can think of.

Yeah.

They are in it.

So, Hugh Laurie actually was in a, uh, show.

Uh, I think it was a BBC show with Stephen Fry.

Mm-hmm.

And... Piece of shit.

What?

Stephen Fry.

What?

Oh, you piece of... You said piece of shit?

Oh, yeah.

Stop.

No.

I'm pretty sure Stephen Fry is, like... No.

Was it Stephen Fry?

Is that who I'm thinking of?

Was it Stephen Fry?

Yeah.

Stephen Fry is, like, horribly transphobic.

Wait.

He, he was in Bones, right?

This man?

He played Gordon Gordon?

Yeah!

Yeah.

No!

Mm-hmm.

Shit!

Yuck.

Ah.

He was a great character in that show.

At least I'm pretty sure.

I could be... I don't want him to be...

If you think about a British person, they are probably transphobic.

I'm just gonna say... No!

I hope not.

Uh, let me check.

I didn't want him to be an asshole.

Ah-da-do-do-do-do-do.

Let's see.

Um...

Your fat-ass dog is over here, like, licking up the... Okay, so we got an old dog.

Eddie is 14.

He has no teeth.

He has no lower jaw to speak up.

He eats smooshed-up food.

You're wrong.

I might have been wrong.

Please be wrong.

In June 2025, Fry spoke out against Harry Potter series author J.K.

Rowling... Yeah!

For her views on transgender people, calling her a lost cause.

Wait.

Calling her a lost cause and radicalized.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Well, I apologize because... Woo-hoo!

I...

Wrong in the best way.

Because I was under the impression... because I might be mistaking him for someone.

Yeah, but your dog's still fat because she's over here... She is fat.

Sucking up all the remnants of Eddie's food that... Yeah.

I don't... I think it's just the smell of the food that he didn't eat.

There's no food over here.

It's the oil.

It's the oil.

Okay.

Hey, listen, ma'am.

You're just... go away.

Go... go sit in your chair.

Come on.

Over here.

You're way too...

Well, I apologize, Stephen Fry.

You're making those weird noises.

I do not apologize, Gordon Gordon, because you are an amazing character arc

in that show.

He was a psychologist or psychiatrist.

And then he turned... Okay.

And then he... he turned a corner and he became a chef because he wanted to.

So... That's fucking awesome.

The reason that I thought this is because Shinigami Eyes is a plug-in...

A plug-in for many... many browsers that will show you if somebody is transphobic.

So... Shinigami... Shinigami Eyes.

Okay.

And that's why I thought... unless... like... I don't know... like...

here, one second.

While you're looking that up, I'm going to talk about my favorite dog.

And this is not an ad because he does not have his own Patreon.

My favorite dog is Chuy.

His whole name is Chuy Alejandro Atkinson.

And that was him shaking his head.

He is a big tall dog who is part German Shorthair Pointer.

He is part Rhodesian Ridgeback.

He has a little bit of Shar Pei in him.

And he's got all the love beans in him.

For sure.

So not a... not a homophobe?

I don't know.

I... I... From what I can see, it seems that he has said some things.

But I'm going to have to look into it more.

What's the matter, Chu Chu?

He's upset.

Hey.

Do you need some help?

He's a good boy.

He is a good boy.

Anywho.

We were talking about... we got sidetracked.

Let's get sidetracked!

What were we talking about?

We were talking about... Not entirely.

House.

Oh, we were... we went from... we were talking about how I'm not good at singing.

And then we went from Hamilton to Lin-Manuel Miranda in House.

Oh, right.

And then... yes.

Okay.

Okay.

We were able to find our way.

Boy and Fry.

That's right.

That's right.

You were correct.

He was also in Blackadder.

Oh, okay.

On Stephen Fry.

I have not watched... Okay.

So two of our dogs are now going to start jumping around in the hallway.

They probably need to go outside.

Who wants to go outside?

All right.

We are going to take a short break and we will be right back with you.

Beep-beep break!

Beep-beep!

Welcome back from the break.

We have a breaking news story.

Breaking news story.

Super important.

The only important news story from Fox News.

Ready to hear it?

Mhm.

Raccoon breaks into a liquor store, passes out...

Passes out in bathroom after fuel... Booze?

Booze?

Damn it!

I can't speak the English.

Raccoon breaks into liquor store, passes out in bathroom after booze-fueled rampage.

An inebriated raccoon was taken into custody after allegedly breaking into a

Virginia liquor store on Black Friday.

The dog is snorting my pants.

One of the sales.

Partaking in what officials have deemed a liquor-fueled rampage.

A trail of smashed liquor bottles led police to the masked suspect, haha,

who was found passed out in the sploot position on the Ashland Businesses

bathroom floor according to Hanover County Animal Protection and Shelter.

My spirit animal.

Right there.

110% down to the sploot position.

Fo sho.

Uh huh.

Mhm.

Yup.

Yeah, I read that.

But, um... Haha, sorry.

Could be seen... Sorry, I did not read the rest of it.

Could be seen lying next to a garbage can and toilet.

If that does not wrap up my Friday night, I don't know what does.

Yeah, um, I saw that photo.

It's so good.

It's so funny.

I say that now, but I fucking work Friday nights.

I am driving a goddamn Ambulance Friday nights, wishing I was in a sploot position.

Well, let's get started with a topic today.

I thought we already had a topic.

Oh, what topic is that?

Drunk raccoons?

Drunk raccoons.

Yup, that's a short topic.

It is.

That's a short topic.

Yeah, you were right.

I mean, uh, I remember when I, when we would go camping and Poppy would

always be like, nah, don't leave out the, don't

leave out the trash or the raccoons are gonna get it.

Right?

Yeah, that's something that I really miss about being younger specifically is,

um, the stories that grandma would tell and Poppy would also tell.

Like we would be around the campfire and they would have like spooky stories.

Oh yeah.

But they didn't tell any stories about murderers or, uh, hatchet men.

The one eyed purple people eater.

Your, your grandma, like my grandparents were great.

Like years ago, of course I am obviously older than her cause she's my kid.

Uh, her grandparents were great about telling age appropriate stories.

Yeah.

Uh, sorry.

There's a little gnat that's flying around here.

That's the twat that keeps being in my room.

The twat?

Yeah.

It's a twat.

It's a twat.

I thought it was a gnat, apparently not.

Yeah.

Um, and that was, uh, I missed out on so much.

How did you miss out on so much?

Like if you was just alive for like three or four more years, I think there would've

been, it would have made the trips more enjoyable.

Like the camping trips.

Oh, for you?

Yeah, being older.

Yeah, a little bit older.

It's like, I don't remember a ton.

He was such a dork.

I loved him.

I loved your granddad.

Yeah.

He definitely had you guys in mind when he scheduled any kind of trips.

Instead of just wanting pictures?

Yeah, like, what are you going to do?

Are you guys going to go stab some worms?

Are you going to try to catch some fish?

Are you going to just go take a couple walks?

Salamanders?

Okay, couple walks.

I'm going to back up on a couple walks.

A couple walks for Poppy, who is their granddad, was Bob Atkinson.

Fantastic guy.

Worked the shipyard for years.

Very hard worker.

Very smart guy.

Just super... he wasn't super chill, but he was cool in a super nerdy sort of way.

He was cool in a granddad way.

Oh, for sure.

You can find pictures of him on bobatkinson.org.

It's up again.

It was down for like a month, and I didn't know that.

I don't have a lot of videos that include him, because

a lot of the videos that we have of Poppy were on tape.

And low grade.

Super low grade, what we did have.

But they got destroyed.

Son of a bitch.

Because they were left in an attic.

Whose attic?

Kevo's.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Fuck you.

Oh, your dad... I don't know.

For all your dad, it's just a... I mean...

Not a fantastic guy, but...

Not a fantastic guy.

Full stop.

No.

Uh-uh.

Full stop.

Yeah, full stop.

Conversation over.

Yeah.

Like, obviously there was something that attracted me.

And I... oh, wait.

No, maybe we need to back up, because I got raised by

a narcissistic mother, and then I married a narcissist.

Okay, back up.

Back up.

No, we're not going to talk about that.

Sorry.

Oh, no.

Please don't do that.

Well, you had to back up.

Backing it up.

Let's not.

Yeah.

No.

But I thought we were going to get into personal life.

We could... personal knife?

Life.

Life!

Personal life.

I thought you said personal knife.

Nah, personal... I got a personal knife.

I have one, too!

Where's my personal knife?

Here's my personal knife.

Oh, that's...

That's a big knife!

That's not... No!

I have a tiny knife that I carry at work that... Well, it's a husky.

Also, this isn't mine.

Whose is that?

It's mine.

Never mind.

Did you steal that?

From a store, yeah.

You did not!

No, I didn't.

Of course I didn't steal it.

Oh, you better not.

I'll take... I'll drag you ass back.

You bought this at Lowe's.

Did I?

Yeah.

Did I or did Rhonda?

No, it was you.

When we were... Was it me?

For the bathroom stuff.

Oh, shit.

You're like, we needed one.

Yeah.

But then I needed to open something, so I opened

this because it was the only one I could find.

Okay.

And it's really nice.

It is.

I lost it.

It's a nice knife.

It's like... When I was looking for the microphones, I found it.

So, it's a husky...

Little box cutter.

Would you call it a box cutter?

But it's got a... I mean, like it... Utility knife.

It's a utility knife.

Yeah.

But it folds in half.

Yeah.

So, it's a knife.

It's definitely a decent knife.

Oh, yeah.

Absolutely.

But I was like, what?

No.

No, I didn't steal it.

Not our personal knives.

We're going to talk about our personal lives.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, I don't know exactly where you want to start in terms of personal life.

So, what's off limits?

Like, what do we not talk about?

Uh...

We just don't mention locations.

Like, just say general.

Like, don't mention like, it was at this address on this date.

Well, I'm not going to... I'm not going to give an address.

Dox.

But the kind of... the cities where we live or have lived in is okay.

Oh, yeah.

That's fine.

Well, all the cities... No phone numbers, obviously.

No, but all the cities we have lived in are reasonably large cities.

Yeah, they're not little.

And like, somebody could totally find me because I've obviously...

They could find me, too.

I'm... I'm... I'm obviously holding a...

A certification that makes me able to be found if they need to.

Well, also, I could find you regardless.

Well, yeah, you live in our house.

You just got to walk down the hall.

I've done background stuff.

Oh, have you?

Well, I was looking for someone else and it led me to

you and I was able to get passwords that were accurate.

I was able to get all the information where you live, tax returns, stuff like that.

Like, the free stuff?

Honestly?

Honestly, it's really scary.

If you just look yourself up, you can find your name and the people that you are

related to, cities where you have lived, companies where you have worked at.

It's kind of really weird.

Best part about being trans is that... wiped clean.

Oh, right.

Because you have a new legal name.

New identity.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, it's not a new identity because

your social security number is the same.

But for the data brokers, new identity, they have no clue... The data brokers?

Brokers.

Brokers.

Okay.

They have no clue who I am.

She talks so fast.

I can't see her mouth when she's doing this.

Yeah, my mouth is right in front of the microphone.

So, that's why... that's like the second time I've questioned what you were saying.

My bad.

So, I kind of understand now.

Like, you and your sister are both... I say hearing impaired, but I...

apparently the new term is hard of hearing that I do not...

It's... hearing impaired is fine.

See, that's what I... that's what I told my work partners.

Like, we call it hearing impaired at our house.

That's what the subtitles that I make... Mm-hmm.

Are made.

They're hearing... hearing impaired.

Mm-hmm.

SDH.

Subtitles for deaf or hard of hearing.

Mm-hmm.

But everyone calls them... Deaf and hard of hearing can mean really anything.

Hearing impairment is a general.

Because anybody can have impaired hearing.

Sure.

And anytime... and during any of these podcasts,

if you hear that sort of noise right here... Yeah.

Back up.

Chu-Chu.

Back up.

Back up, big guy.

Back up.

That noise... that's my dog walking around.

Mm-hmm.

He is a big old guy.

He has long nails.

He's always had long nails since we got him.

And he just likes to hang out with me.

Mm-hmm.

And sometimes he doesn't.

But...

He's trying to walk under my leg right now.

But he's my best friend ever.

And I'm sorry, big guy.

What is he doing?

Here we go.

You gonna... you gonna get through there?

He just crawled under my leg.

There you go.

There you go.

You wanna check some stuff out.

I learned some things about the website...

Yeah.

That I didn't know a ton about.

So the... we're gonna get sidetracked, but...

Let's get sidetracked!

I'm using something called Castopod.

Mm-hmm.

It's a... you can host it yourself and allows you to have your own podcast.

There's really cool things you can do with this that I...

Can I just stop you right now?

Yeah.

Did not realize how much I love to touch my face on this.

Oh, yeah.

It's really nice.

I have a... we'll post a picture on the website... Yeah.

Of this fluffy... I did talk about it in our last episode.

Mm-hmm.

This fluffy... can I just touch it?

This microphone cover.

Dead cat.

Shut up!

It's not a dead cat!

No, that is.

It feels like talking into a... That's what it's called.

I know.

But it feels like if you guys have ever watched Star Trek, the original series,

you got the... shit.

What the hell are those things called?

Oh, they're little fluffy things.

I can't remember what they're called.

Okay.

We are going to take another break and we will see you in a minute.

And we are back from the break.

Urination has been completed.

I feel so much better.

Mm-hmm.

And you know the name.

I did also... I also did remember.

Tribbles.

The Trouble with Tribbles was the episode.

I don't know which one it is, but they were these

little fluffy things that invaded the Enterprise.

And, you know, Kirk, I don't know what to do with these things.

And they were just lovely.

And so I dig this.

I occasionally will... I'll pet it.

I'm sorry if you hear the noise of me petting it.

You can, but... I try not to.

It's nice, honestly.

It's very pleasant to the touch.

And so many people... I am definitely one of the texture-centric sort of people.

Mm-hmm.

But I definitely like to touch stuff.

And... Okay, freak.

You shut your fat... You... Shut your fat mouth.

Take that.

I almost said fag mouth.

That's not right.

That is a slur.

That's a slur.

That ain't right.

No, that ain't right.

Why'd you go to a pirate?

That ain't right.

Damn.

Arr.

I don't know what's happening with me.

Oh, remember when we were at... I think it was Fred Meyers, which is just Kroger.

Uh-huh.

And I found a hook.

And I was like, I'm a hooker.

Yes.

Yes.

I'm gonna be a hooker.

Like, no, that's not right.

No.

But you were only like four feet tall, like three and a half feet tall.

You were little.

No, that was... It was so fucking cute.

It was actually recent.

Oh, was that last year?

No.

Shit.

No, no, no.

Why?

Shut up.

It's not right.

I think that was only like 10 years ago.

So have we actually... have we explained our relationship, our situation?

I don't think we have.

It's in the description of the podcast, they know.

Did you write that yourself?

Because you don't know grammar.

So... Shut up.

I'm... One of us might need to double check that.

Who has an update of their blog in over three years?

Who has graduated from high school?

Ouch!

Who has an associate's... Oh, stop your crying, you big baby.

I have an associate's degree in emergency medicine.

I have... Okay.

What happens when your laptop doesn't work?

What happens when your heart stops?

Hello.

I die.

Right, but I can fix that.

Oh, don't fake me now.

Okay.

No, you don't have it.

You didn't give me chest compressions.

Oh, I'll give you chest compressions.

You will not like them.

No, I don't want it.

No, you do not want it.

I don't want it.

No.

No, brother.

If you don't know... No.

Sophia is my daughter.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

She is under 20.

I am over 20.

Yes, choo-choo.

That's right.

Are we talking centimeters?

Years.

Stupid.

Ouch.

And you're, what, 52?

You can suck my ass.

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

Which is the best part about having adult children.

You can't tell an eight-year-old to do that.

You can.

I mean, you can, but you're doing some serious damage.

I mean, I'm sure I'm doing some serious damage now, but I don't have to pay for it.

So, there we go.

That is fair.

I just don't know how old you are.

I am 50.

You're 50?

50, yes.

All right.

I turned 50 in February.

Remember when we went to New Orleans for a week?

I'm stupid.

I'm so stupid.

Well, yeah, no, I know that.

No, you're not stupid.

Is Rhonda 52?

No, Rhonda's actually 55 this year.

Rhonda is my wife.

That's Sophia's stepmom.

Sorry, Rhonda.

That's okay.

You don't have to know how old everybody is.

Well, I know when her birthday is.

Yeah, that's the important part.

I know when your birthday is.

Do you?

February 21st.

Yeah, you don't have to say the year.

It's okay.

1875.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

That's my mom.

Unfortunate, I know.

What?

I'm kidding.

She's giving Chu-Chu a kiss.

You know what?

I'm going to give her a kiss.

I'm going to give her a kiss, too.

Oh, they're two good kisses.

Oh, you're a good boy.

Who's a good boy?

Oh, he's such a good boy.

Oh, he's such a good boy.

You are supposed to know that it's a cough drop.

Well, yeah, it smells good.

I got many, many kisses because he's a good boy.

Yeah, so you're my mom.

Yes.

You're my child.

Uh huh.

You were a different sort of child until about... I'm stupid.

No, you've always been dumb.

Yeah, no, it was... was it... it's five years ago now?

Next year.

It'll be five years.

Next year is five years.

You let me know you were not the child that you were born.

I'm going to tell the whole story because I have anxiety.

So if you tell me... Somebody's watching me.

My anxiety.

No, I don't like that.

Me neither.

I love Dochi, but... Not that one.

Not that one.

So I had... I was working at a grocery store as a bookkeeper.

And Sophia texted me and said, we need to talk when you get home.

And I'm like, bitch, we need to talk now because I'm going to puke.

We can't... no, uh-uh.

You've got to tell me now.

She's like, no, I can't.

I can't tell you now.

And so I finished up and I came home and I walked into the house and I was like,

sit your ass down to the kitchen table because we got to talk now.

And she's like, oh, well, I... we don't... I... I'm like, no, sit down.

And so we sit down and she goes, well, I mean, it's

kind of hard to explain what I need to tell you.

And, you know, a few years ago, like her middle sister had gone to live

with their dad because they didn't agree with the way that we, you know,

run our house.

And so I said, I don't know.

Do you want to go live with your dad?

And she's like, fuck no.

And I was like, oh, OK, well, like...

And I had to think about like what's the hardest thing.

I keep...

fretting out on that when I'm talking to her now.

That's that's fine.

Is that OK?

OK.

And so I was like, what's the hardest thing to tell somebody, like that?

You don't know that they don't know that you have to tell them.

And so I was like, like, do you feel like you're a girl?

And she's like face drop.

Like She went white as a sheet.

And she's like, how did you know?

And I was like, oh, well, no, I didn't.

I just guess.

Like, that's what I was... like, that's a hard thing to tell somebody.

And so, is that really... is that what you need to tell me?

She's like, yeah.

And I was like, oh, okay.

Well, what do we do now?

Like, that was, like, super easy to deal with.

Like, I'm not... for me... I mean, it was super easy for me because I was

like, oh, well, that's not terrible at all.

Like, and this is after her middle sister had

subjected us to, like, adult and family services.

Psychological warfare.

Like, yeah, we had an investigation.

And so, I was like, oh, my God, this is super easy.

Like, I don't have to worry about this stuff now.

Just tell me what I got to do.

And so, it was... I felt bad, like, not knowing this ahead of time.

Like, I figured she was queer.

Like, I mean, she's always been super sensitive and very empathetic.

Like, she's felt other people's feelings.

Apathy's a tragedy.

No, it's a very, very good quality to have as a human.

And so, I didn't know 100% what to do after that.

At that point, I was like, oh, shit.

Well, like, what do we do?

And so, I actually don't remember where we left that appointment.

I think I asked you if you had chosen a new name.

Well, let's take a quick break.

And I'm going to find the message that I sent you.

You can find it?

Yeah.

Holy crapcakes.

We'll be right back.

All right.

Welcome back from the break.

I found the messages.

So, these are from April 14th, 2021.

I'm going to do me and you do you.

I can't read it from here.

Oh, you can't read?

Okay.

Yep.

I thought you were going to learn that in elementary school.

Hey, shut up.

No, no, no.

I'm going to do me and you do you.

You go.

Okay.

Hey.

What?

What you doing?

Resin sup?

I was talking to some of my friends and I came up with a name.

Want to hear?

Yeah.

Sophia.

For you?

Yeah.

Yes.

Loving face.

I like you.

Thanks.

Came up with it myself.

Sweet.

No, came up with it meself.

Meself.

Sweet.

Sophia Charlotte.

A help or no?

I was thinking Sophia Isabella.

Make it so.

Very Italian.

Oui, oui.

No, dork.

Si.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Went to work on...

hair, what?

Hair slash wig.

Hair slash wig tomorrow?

Sure.

Kk.

Mwah.

Mwah.

I'm a crocodile.

Hmm.

LOL.

How would you feel?

How would you feel comfortable with me referring to you right now?

They, them or she, her?

She, her.

It's okay.

Okie dokie.

LOL.

I was going to say it's okay if you don't want

me to know right now and then you answer me.

Ha.

Hi, laughing face.

Ha.

I don't call you okie dokie?

Yeah.

I think that's the first time.

Did you talk to Rhonda?

First time what?

That you called me okie dokie.

LOL.

Or I misread it?

I don't know.

Usually don't.

This feels like AI talking to itself.

It does, doesn't it?

I have not talked to Rhonda.

Kk.

I don't know what to say.

Choke on my spit.

No choke on my spot.

Choke on my spot.

And then corrected to choke on my spit.

Haha.

Heard it.

Hmm.

Guess you can say you've been thinking and finally put a finger on it.

Feel like a girl-woman.

Here's my name and pronoun.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That might just work.

Haha face.

We can go to Goodwill and get you clothes that

will make you feel nice until you find your style.

Okay.

Yeah.

Want me to get you black and white chucks or another color?

Black.

Okay.

Have you thought about what you want to address this with your dad?

Rhonda's up if you want to talk.

Maybe tomorrow.

Really?

Winky face.

Kk, another day as dead name.

So, yeah.

That was...

And I think you actually told her later that day.

I could be wrong.

I think we talked about it not on text and just said, yeah, go ahead and tell her

that how things are progressing and then we'll have a chat another day.

Yeah.

About the details.

So that's how that was...

April 14th, 2021.

So many moons ago.

Am I right?

So many moons.

Yeah.

That was... Damn.

Almost five years ago.

Yeah.

And still some parts... You're so much older now.

Still some parts of my family have no clue what my name is.

Not this part of the family for sure.

So that's me.

Hello.

Hello, I'm here.

But yeah, I think you made it so much easier to come out.

I thought it was going to be like, because, you know, you can have queer

parents, and there still be an air of transphobia.

That's actually extremely common.

Because I feel like for the longest time,

like trans people have been a very gray area.

Yeah, even though the first person who threw a brick at Stonewall was a trans woman.

R.I.P.

sister.

We're still very much marginalized upon.

Oh, hell yeah.

Even more since the Pope piss pants came in.

I feel like President piss pants is perfect.

Anywho, that's me.

What about you?

What are you?

What are you doing?

How are you?

Back in my day, I was warning us.

Consider us south of Salem.

The boonies.

Oh, out in the goddamn country.

I was actually born in Salem.

But I grew up just south of Salem.

Yeah, because there was no hospital where you are.

No, there wasn't.

There's there's a hospital on each side.

Like neither.

Neither one would I trust with like a cardiac arrest at this point.

But I was born just south of Salem.

I was born in the mid 70s.

Grew up in a tiny town.

I grew up in a town with not a whole lot to speak of.

I do joke that I grew up in a place where men are men and sheep are scared.

And it's not wrong for sure.

I grew up with a mom and a dad and a sister.

My dad worked really hard.

My dad worked very hard.

He was a welder, welder fabricator for most of my growing up years.

And then like towards the end of his life, he died too soon for sure.

Yeah.

But he worked as a heating and air conditioning guy.

I think that's the progression.

You go from fabrication to a more sought upon career.

Well, I mean, some careers are harder on the body than others.

That's true.

I know that a lot of people go from electrician to heating and cooling.

Yeah.

Because it's very exchangeable.

A lot less movement, for sure.

He taught me how to build stuff.

So yeah, when I was about 20.

I started doing heating and air conditioning.

But he taught me how to build shit.

He taught me how I wish I would listen earlier.

I really wanted to learn how to look.

I wanted to learn how to weld.

But I wore contacts through the middle part of my life.

And you can't wear contacts and learn how to weld because that arc high intensity

ultraviolet light does not do well with that.

I mean, there's just too many variables.

So unfortunately, I did not.

I did not learn how to weld.

But I did learn how to put shit together and how to fix stuff.

And I'm very, very thankful for that.

I didn't learn any of that shit from my father.

No.

I learned it all from my grandfather.

I think I'll put some pictures down in the

footer showing what me and my grandpa worked on.

Yeah.

I don't have a ton of photos, but I have stuff.

I mean, your dad's not all bad.

He doesn't know how to regulate his emotions.

He's got some issues with that.

He's got some mood issues.

But the difference is that in most cases, you can't really blame people.

But him specifically, he had a choice.

Yeah, that's true.

He was medicated for a while and he was great.

He was great.

He was really great when he was medicated.

And then he just stopped.

Like a lot of people who are bipolar, they get regulated.

And then they don't think...

That there's anything wrong with them and they stop taking their medications.

Same thing with antidepressants.

Right.

And I'm not going to say that's here or there because I was not in his head.

But while he was on medication, he was fucking fantastic.

Unfortunately, it was a little too late for us at that point.

I even have some photos of him when he was on medication.

And he just looked like a normal dad.

Like he was going everywhere.

I mean, he looked like a regular dad all the time.

It was what came out of his mouth.

It was a lot different.

I think that's where I have a lot of childhood trauma.

And honestly, we all have a lot of childhood trauma.

That's the hard part in getting over it.

And that's honestly what a lot of us Gen Xers are dealing

with is the childhood trauma that we grew up with.

And separating that from our own personalities and what

do we pass on to our own children as a good lesson.

And then on the flip side of that, what do we pass on to our children as what

not to do as parents from our own childhoods?

So it's rough.

I feel like everybody deals with that thing.

But I feel like there's a big enough sample from 1970 to like 1990 of us that

were born and grew up and learned how to be people.

Because that's essentially, you have to learn how to be a person first.

Before you can learn how to be a parent.

And I feel like a lot of our parents as Gen Xers did not learn how to be people first.

You sounded like a cow.

That was really funny.

It was like the little can that you turn up and it goes...

Grown to.

Grown to.

So a lot of us did not learn how to be people first.

And I understand that.

And it is difficult to deal with.

But at some point...

Even if you have not dealt with how to be a person,

you have to look at yourself and go how am I...

I'm gonna be blunt.

How am I fucking up the people around me?

Can I...

Are they really getting fucked up?

Or am I okay right now?

And no, no.

If you're being abusive and wordy and you're not treating people fine,

then you are not being okay with people around you.

And it's a tough deal.

It's a tough thing to deal with.

I can't speak the English.

Because...

But you know, we all deal with things in different ways.

I feel like if you can deal with your family, your friends, even your co-workers

and not fuck them up more than they showed up with, then you're in a good place.

You're okay.

For sure.

Yeah.

I... You did a very good job.

Honestly.

Thank you.

In terms of parenting.

I appreciate that.

Because I think you were...

You were kind of...

At certain points, especially from like 2010 to 2013, you were on damage control.

Oh, fuck yeah.

Yeah.

In terms of you were like, no, no, no, no, no, this is not what it's supposed to be.

Well, one of us in this room started lighting matches out in the backyard.

I know.

And it scared the shit out of the other one of us.

Yeah.

I'm still a pyromaniac in some ways.

I love pyromaniacs.

I love setting shit on fire.

It's very fun.

But you have to do it in a controlled and safe manner.

For sure.

I would light... I would light little Hot Wheels cars on fire.

See, I never saw that part.

I only saw the part where you were setting...

You were just lighting matches and like holding them up against the side of the...

The side of the shed.

Oh, I don't remember.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

It wasn't that.

I was actually... Those...

The Hot Wheels cars.

Uh-huh.

That's what I was doing.

I wasn't trying... It just made a little flame on the side of the shed?

I assume so.

Yeah.

But what I was doing is I would light them.

And I would put them inside of the car.

Okay.

And watch them burn from the inside of the car.

Oh, damn.

Yeah.

That's even more messed up than I thought it was.

I know, right?

Oh.

But I am very thankful that I figured that out.

And I remember saying something to you about it.

Like, we can't... And I feel...

What I feel mostly bad about was showing you

pictures of animals that had been in fires.

That worked.

It did.

But I feel bad about that.

Yeah.

I should not have done that.

But I was trying to get... I was trying to get the most important message through.

You were trying to be shock.

Here.

Well, it was... Look.

Okay.

I know you got this... this fantasy here.

And that's not the right word.

You got the...

You like to see things burn?

You see... You see step one.

But you don't see... see step three.

Where someone is caught inside of this room that has been caught on fire.

And so, I didn't show horribly graphic photos.

Yeah.

It was just animals that had been... Oh.

Even if I... As I try to say it out loud, it's not even set on fire.

It was animals that have been... Had been inside of a home...

Inside of a home that has been on fire.

So, it was animals with singed hair.

It was not like crazy burned up animals.

It was sad animals, singed hair.

I actually... I am really sorry.

I never checked to see if any of those animals lived or not.

But I wanted you to see the impact on... Like arms of the angel type shit.

What you weren't thinking about.

About what might happen.

Yeah.

So, it wasn't burned people.

It wasn't burned...

It wasn't like burned to the ground houses.

In fairness, about 10 years later, I saw a lot of those photos.

I sound like a really horrible parent as I say that out loud right now.

No.

Something I realized when I was making the subtitles

for the last episode is I say in fairness a lot.

Mm-hmm.

Don't know why.

But in fairness... To be fair.

To be fair.

If anybody watches Letterkenny... You understand.

You were working with the tools that you had.

Right.

That's true.

Thank you.

I actually appreciate that.

So...

Because yeah, I didn't have really good tools.

That didn't traumatize me.

Thank God.

Woo!

There were a lot of other variables that definitely did traumatize me.

Yeah.

Like I have memories of not so great things.

I still remember we were trying to leave the house.

Oh, no.

I know.

I understand what you're talking about.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's one that... Before we get into this... Uh-huh.

Do we have time for another pee break?

We'll be right back after this commercial break.

Okay.

And we are back from the urination break.

And thankfully we got on the same page because I

didn't want to have to explain all of this crazy shit.

Oh, yeah.

Woo!

There's things that I think we've mentally connected and we've talked about.

And those can be barriers.

There's things that we've worried because they've been understood.

They've been talked about.

They've been recognized.

They've been recognized.

For sure.

So...

And, you know, I feel like...

I was going to say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but that's not true.

Whatever doesn't kill you will traumatize you horribly.

It mutates and tries again.

Oh.

So, when the kids were smaller, like their dad

was getting really close to like a mental break.

And for anyone who's had to deal with a bipolar narcissistic personality,

it is super tough because they don't even

know what's going on inside their own brain.

So, to expect someone on the outside to deal with that stuff is super, super shitty.

And it just kind of depends on how everything goes.

And it's all not good.

But it... Sophia was explaining that she remembered a time where we all...

The kids and I jumped in.

We jumped into the car.

And their dad was trying to get us to not leave.

And I just want to get away to get a little just a breath.

Just like let's move away from each other for a second.

Take a breath.

Come back.

Regroup.

Let's talk about grown up stuff.

And it was very traumatizing for her.

And I know that it couldn't have been easy for her

and her sisters because it was traumatizing for me.

Yeah.

Crazy.

Yeah.

And...

The sad thing is he's still like this.

Yeah.

Sadly.

Over 12 years later, he's basically the same person.

I mean, I don't know because I don't have to deal with that.

I'm glad I don't have to deal with it anymore.

I honestly feel bad for his new wife.

She's a lovely person.

Unfortunately, I don't feel bad because she got... She was warned.

I mean, I did.

Multiple times.

I did warn her.

I warned her.

I tried to warn her in the most polite way possible.

The nicest way.

Not like... I didn't want to be like, he's a crazy bitch.

I didn't want to do that.

But she's such a...

She's such a warm and squishy person.

Like, she's very lovely.

I have no hate for her at all, except that she makes bad choices just like I did.

Like, what are you going to do?

And the thing is, is that he has worn off on her.

Yeah.

She is kind of like that too.

I mean, they... He does.

They do.

I'm going to say that personality type does.

Especially on people who are... Who are empathetic.

Yeah.

Who will try to make things better and try to correct things.

People who are very manipulative and very, I

don't know, what's the other word I'm looking for?

Like, they try to mold people.

Gaslighting.

Yeah.

They try to mold people into their own vision of what they want to happen.

Because they just want whatever they want to happen, happen.

Abusive.

Abusive!

Yeah.

Eventually it is.

And it sounds... and I sound like a dipshit saying, Oh, well, oh yeah.

Yeah, it is.

It is.

And it's really tough to say that too.

And I don't want to say it my age.

But yeah, we were actually... Not my age?

Back when I was a kid.

The French times.

When we were, Rhonda and I were talking about my friends, my friends' Susan, who.

Love you.

Thank you.

She actually, her and her husband Pete produced

two amazing authors out of their family.

Benjamin Percy, who has done.

God, well, he he wrote one of my favorite books now is the Dark Web.

But he also writes for Marvel Comics.

He writes Wolverine and he's written.

He wrote for DC.

He writes.

Crazy horror stories.

And his newest, his newest foray is actually called The End Times.

And it's a collaboration with Stephen King, not to name drop.

But that comes out from Bad Moon Press.

I might have to.

And that's what I'm actually going to read.

It looks so good.

I'm so excited.

I looked it up.

I on Goodreads and I was like, this is so good.

Right.

It's a.

It's a it's a 12 chapter story and nice and short for me.

Bad Hand Books is actually the company and The End Times is the name of the story.

And each month you get sent a newspaper that is one chapter of the book.

And I'm super excited about it because he writes some scary ass shit.

Fucking love it.

His sister, Jen, on the other hand, writes.

Some really heart wrenching stories.

And the one I'm reading right now is called Girls Play Dead, and it's about

girls who have suffered sexual assault trauma and how they deal with it,

how they learn, how we've been taught to deal with it up until I would say the last

two years, we've just been taught, you know, laugh it off.

Like, don't make a man like something terrible can happen.

Just, oh, haha.

It's a joke.

And, you know, as a survivor of sexual assault, even I was 19 the first time it

happened to me and it was someone that I had grown up

with, I don't know if I've even told you this story.

I see your eyes darting back and forth.

I know I didn't.

Yeah, no, it's a person that passed a couple of years ago, a person that was.

Yeah, no rest.

Rest in piss.

Fuck your face.

It was a person that my dad had a lot of business ties to, had a lot of very deep

ties to the community where I grew up, someone that I thought of as a granddad

and was super excited that he chose me to go out for lunch and hang out with and it

turned out, yes, I see your face, it's terrible.

What the fuck?

It was really horrible.

And I...

Instead of saying, are you fucking kidding me?

Like it would at this age, I cried because I didn't know what to do.

And I took it to my parents and I said, here's what happened.

I don't know what to do.

And my dad said, well, if you, if you want to blow this shit up, let me know.

Like I am behind you.

I can't say that my mom was on the same page.

She pretty much just said, shut up.

Don't take it.

Don't tell anybody.

Just brush it out of the rug.

And that's what we did because I didn't want to blow up my dad's company and I

didn't want my family to, um, I didn't want them to have to pay for this dumb

fucks idea of what should be exciting because he says, oh, well, my wife is a

little old and she's not very exciting now.

And I'm getting really crazy right now.

You know, I have needs and you know, she's older and you

know, somebody younger could take care of these needs for me.

And when I should have said, you need to buy

a fucking hooker and take me the fuck home.

I did not.

And I cried.

And then I sat through a really shitty Chinese lunch.

Which.

It was really horrible, juicy, greasy, Americanized Chinese food,

which is one of my very favorite things in the whole fucking wide world.

It should have been a great fucking lunch.

And it wasn't because he told me stories about his brother and

they were horrible stories and they were fucking disgusting.

And I should have just put my foot right in his nuts.

And I didn't.

And I feel like that's what Jen Percy's book is about.

Girls Play Dead is about how we're taught not to make a big deal out of it and how

to just brush it under the rug because it's not that big of a deal.

Even though I'm 50 years now, I'm 50 years old now.

This happened when I was 19 and I'm still just as angry now as when it happened.

I can see.

I can see it when I close my eyes.

And that's what she's collected are these stories of women who have put up with this

bullshit and swallowed this misogyny and this

abuse and tried to move on with their lives.

And it, it damages us our entire life.

40 years later, or 20 years, 30 years later.

Sophia's daughter.

My dog is full on fucking snoring right now.

Just it, it made me feel so better.

It grounded me a little bit and I appreciate that from her, but this, her.

I don't know if you could hear that, but I turned

the microphone all the way up so you could hear it.

She's such a little snoring dog.

I know.

I feel like I was getting a little way too fucking deep.

I was getting very deep.

Yeah.

Sadly, it's, it's something as, as a trans

girl, this is not what you grew up with in here's.

This is what I, when, when you had your date, a few weeks ago with your friend

that you were going to go over and hang out, you weren't raised to be worried

about every fucking thing in the whole wide fucking world.

You were raised to worry about things.

You could see not things that other people had

planned for you that you didn't know about.

And so when you were older, you had those things.

You went to visit with this friend, like I'm down with you going to hang out

with a friend, but at the same time, I'm worried because you have not been

conditioned to worry about what every, every tiny little thing someone is

thinking about you, excuse me, and you dealt with it with grace and,

and, and humor and you did not, you did not

make me feel bad about worrying about you.

And, and I appreciated that about you for sure.

Oh, I'm supposed to talk.

You talk now.

Jesus Christ.

All right.

Well, um...

So much heavy stuff.

Do we need a commercial break now?

Let's take a commercial break.

We might need one.

Commercials.

Woo!

So we are back.

We finished a very deep subject.

Oh, yeah.

Deeper than I thought we were going to get for sure.

And we totally didn't go on a side tangent.

Listening to Harry Connick Jr. for...

Oh, you guys didn't hear that.

But you might hear it the closer we get to Christmas because it was...

I am a huge Harry Connick Jr. fan.

Have been since, I don't know, probably 15 years or so.

Back in my day.

Back in my day.

I like to listen to Harry Connick Jr. So one of

my very favorite cities is New Orleans, Louisiana.

Are we not recording?

I thought I was muted for a second.

Because I saw... I saw your face and nothing was moving up there.

And I was like, oh, shit, we're not playing a song.

I almost fully shot myself.

That would have been amazing.

Okay, anyway, continue.

So I grew up not in a musical family, but I grew up loving music.

And I started out playing the clarinet in the... Okay, Squidward.

Hey.

You can't be intimidating.

My stomach went...

So I started out in fifth grade playing the clarinet.

Fifth and sixth grade playing the clarinet.

Seventh, eighth grade.

And then in ninth grade, I started playing the tenor

sax, which opened up a giant world of music for me.

And love, love, love jazz music.

My particular love of jazz music is in the Dixieland.

I don't want to say the Bayou Basin jazz, like Delta Blues.

But it's the root, the root, before it gets

all really mixed up with too many influences.

It sounds terrible.

And I don't want to say that because everybody has love of any kind of...

If anyone loves jazz, they all have...

They all have a different love of what point in jazz they love.

I definitely love the big band era, like pre-World War II.

That's like... If you guys have seen Memphis Belle, have you seen this, Sophia?

Have you seen that movie?

I think so.

Oh, Harry Connick Jr. is actually in that movie.

And he sings...

Oh, Danny Boy, the pipes, the pipes are cold.

I can't sing that low, but... Didn't...

In Schitt's Creek, didn't she sing that at someone's funeral?

She did!

Carl's funeral!

Yes!

Danny Boy.

Oh, Danny Boy.

And yeah, he...

What's the dad's name?

What's his... Eugene Levy.

What's his name?

Eugene Levy.

Um...

Oh!

Oh!

He's trying to eat an egg salad sandwich, and she's singing one note so fucking low

that he can't chew until she changes... Oh, my God.

It was Eugene Levy is his name.

Oh, my God.

Love Eugene Levy.

Yeah, oh, my God.

Ugh.

But yes, Harry Connick Jr. Played... He's one of the...

I think he's the tail gunner in that movie.

Eric Stoltz in that movie.

Johnny Ross.

Yeah.

What?

Johnny Rose?

Johnny Rose?

That's why I'm in.

Jesus Christ.

No, we did not teach her how to read English words.

It is very late.

What time is it?

It is 9.46 p.m.

Oh, my God.

It's so late.

It's not late.

It's not.

Yeah.

We spent half of this podcast about you talking about yourself.

So fucking shoot me, ma'am.

All right.

No shooting.

Shooting.

No.

There has been no mothers injured in this podcast making.

You know what?

Fuck you.

Oh, that was very angry.

I did not mean that.

Oh, my God.

Fuck you.

Fuck you.

I didn't even have any... I wasn't even pointing with any finger.

So Memphis Belle.

Eric Stoltz plays the... One of the...

Oh.

He plays one of the pirates.

Pirates?

No, he's a pirate.

Holy shit.

Yeah, he's got a penguin.

Yeah, he's got a penguin.

If I remember right, Sean Astin is the ball turret gunner.

I got to look that up.

I got a Sean Astin right here for you.

Give me a second.

Sean Astin's fucking awesome.

I mean, not only is he Samwise Ganji.

I do like... But he's Mikey from the Gonies.

I do like jazz.

A lot of the jazz music I like is, you know, like YouTube jazz.

Like royalty-free music.

Oh, of course.

You've actually heard if you are listening... Well, yeah, you're listening.

But at the start, that is royalty-free jazz.

That is track tribe.

God damn it.

Who was I looking up?

I don't know.

Memphis Belle.

One of us has been drinking.

Just.

It's not me.

It might have been me.

I also like blues.

Old blues, like 1930s blues.

Oh.

Louie Armstrong.

What a Wonderful World.

Honestly, not my favorite song of hits.

I see... Trees of green.

Hours away.

Oh, you know, I don't even know... I'm a Saints Go Marching In.

Oh, when the saints... And I see too much... That's the wrong song.

I know, but I was saying I like that song.

When the Saints Go Marching In.

One of my very favorite Dixieland songs.

Anyway, let's get back.

Let's get back into... You were...

The song.

I'm looking up Memphis Belle.

Okay, Matthew Modine.

Matthew Modine was the one that I could not remember who is the pilot.

Modine's?

Eric Stolz was the co-pilot.

Yes.

Tate Donovan.

D.B.

Sweeney.

He was the one who was super sweaty.

Billy Zane had so much hair back then.

Sean fucking Aston.

The ball turret gunner.

Hell yeah.

And then Harry Connick Jr. I remember when they

were dumping off weight to get back to their base.

He's like, you can have my bullets too.

And I was like, fuck yeah, you can have my bullets.

And I had no idea what World War II was about.

It was fucking amazing.

Love that show.

Oh my God.

All of my favorite...

All of the actors here are like, Oh, I've seen... I've seen that guy.

I'm not sure what he was in.

They're all on that goddamn show.

It was a great movie.

I fucking love that movie.

I cried.

That was one of the... Honestly, I might have only been...

Wait, I got to see when this movie came out.

I had it in my... I got it right in my hand right now.

And when did it come out?

Oh, 1990.

Holy shit bags.

I was like 15 when this movie came out.

1990?

1990.

1990.

I should not have been old enough to watch this movie.

1990.

Yeah.

1990.

Zero.

And you were 15.

You were 15 in 1990.

Yeah.

What year did you graduate high school?

93.

That's unfortunate.

Anyway... You want... Fuck you.

When did you graduate high school?

I didn't.

What?

I love that fucking movie.

It's fucking amazing.

1990.

So it would be 35 years.

Well... 35.

35.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

35 years old this year.

Damn.

It's super old, but it's an amazing fucking movie.

It was about... And it's a true story, honestly.

It's about World War II fighter squadron that went on 25 missions.

And if you went on 25 missions successfully, then you got sent home.

You got to go home when you were done.

And so... So these guys got sent on the night of the 24th.

They knew their trip the next day.

And they were like, woohoo, let's go get this shit.

And then, you know, World War II technology kicked in.

And they were like, we're not going to fucking make it home.

And so they got home on... They did.

Spoiler alert.

They didn't die.

They made it.

They totally fucking made it.

And it was amazing because they hadn't up to that point.

No one else had done this.

No one else had made 25 runs successfully and made

it back to their base and been ready to go home.

Like they weren't liable.

What's that?

That's not the right word.

They weren't allowed to go home at that point.

And here they did.

They did it.

And this all started from us talking about...

Let's get sidetracked!

Let's get sidetracked!

Started out with us talking about Harry Connick Jr., whom I fucking love deeply.

Yes.

That started me loving... You like jazz?

I have always loved jazz.

B-movie.

But...

You like jazz from the B-movie?

No, yes, I do remember that.

But...

This talking about the jazz has been us talking about that.

And that's what...

It really cemented me loving fucking Harry Connick Jr. Because...

I burped too much.

Excuse you.

Excuse me.

Yeah, so...

Jazz, great.

I like...

Honestly, blues a little bit better.

I don't know why, but I think blues was just...

As a genre, was so...

At the time, we're talking about Detroit blues...

Do you think being a marginalized population makes you

identify people who sing songs about being marginalized?

I don't know.

Or do they just sound fucking amazing and it's just...

I think I just like the history.

Okay, right.

When you listen to a blues song from the 1930s, you can tell the difference between

it and a white person's song from the 1930s.

The audio quality, it sounds like it was recorded

onto a paper tube that someone pissed on.

Well, it's not necessarily the audio quality.

It's the quality of the person singing it and feeling the song they're singing.

Police Dog Blues by Blind Blake has the worst

audio quality I've ever heard in a recovered song.

Is it amazing though?

I want to hear this.

I feel like we need to insert this song into this podcast now.

Alright, you want to listen to it right now?

3, 2, 1...

All my life I've been a traveling man All my life I've been a traveling man Stayin'

alone and doin' the best I can I played a short

little snippet there as I can't play the entire song.

Even though I think 1930s, it might be public domain.

Might be.

Blind Blake, the Detroit Band Blues.

Or wait, the Police Dog Blues.

That's the song name.

It's Police Dog Blues.

And it's on the Detroit Blues album.

Oh, it's fucking cool.

Yeah.

It's a G... wait, what?

F, G, B-flat, B... I don't know the music.

Yeah.

But yeah, it's a... Nice.

It's a song that has so much, like, didn't like my kind.

And she's gonna stick her police dog on me.

Right.

Yeah.

It's...

I'm not quite... here's my song.

That's basically what it is.

The dog leaves his mark on everybody's hands because... On your legs.

On your leg, on your hip, and your back.

Rest in peace, of course.

Hell yeah.

He was actually blind.

Shit's fucked up.

And that's why, you know, fantastic song.

I love it so much.

I recommend everybody listen to it.

I think in terms of a blues song, this is real blues.

I don't like to do the whole thing where like, this isn't real blues.

But there is blues where it's like, this is from the soul.

Yeah.

And my favorite song, one of my favorite songs, and I've played this song in a

Dixieland group that I played in, was St. James Infirmary.

And oh, God, it's a great song.

And it's sad.

And it's beautiful at the same time.

And even like the Saints, when the Saints go marching in, is one of those super sad,

super happy, beautiful.

It's one of those songs that just...

It feels all the feels.

Yeah it's a great song even though it's a sad song.

I feel like St. James Infirmary is one of my very favorite.

As a clarinet player it just felt and it swang different.

Like I don't think that's a word but... Swinging the chain.

Wow.

Swinging the chain.

Yeah it was it was a great song and I played it right

after my senior year in high school 110 years ago.

Not even real that.

That's not 110 years.

But it was amazing.

I fucking love that song.

And you know when the Saints go marching in, a great song.

Like I feel all of the... and even though the South has been... Ruth and Satchmo.

I snorted.

You probably heard that.

I did.

And even... What a wonderful world.

He, yes.

Louis Armstrong.

Oh he sang and felt.

He... as someone who has stayed two blocks away from Louis Armstrong Park in New

Orleans, it's a beautiful feeling, lovely, bright, sad place to visit.

I can't tell enough people enough times to go visit New Orleans.

Even if you don't want to go stay down.

If you're not in drinky party person

you're not a drinky party person go stay

right down on Bourbon Street But you should visit Pride on Bourbon.

Totally gay-owned, gay designed.

Fucking love those bitches there they have some of the best gay shit that you will

ever and it's not it's not family friendly.

But if you're an adult and you can handle

your shit, they have some fucking amazing stuff.

So you need to go there.

But other than that, check out the Clover Grill, which is right across the street

from there, because they have fucking amazing diner food.

Beautiful, horrible, nasty diner coffee tastes so good.

You gotta drink that shit.

And then just experience it.

You don't have to stay on Bourbon Street to experience it.

It's expensive.

I mean, yeah!

It's expensive, and then it's also trashy for what you pay for it.

But if you want to get a little of the New Orleans experience, just kind of the

gritty, dirty, not-so-pretty spots of it, you gotta...

Yeah, I mean Jackson Square's gorgeous.

I love it.

I love all of New Orleans.

Please don't ever get me wrong.

I love it so much.

It's all so gorgeous and sad and gross and

beautiful and sparkly and dingy and amazing.

So you got to spend more than a couple days there.

I could go on at least for another three days talking about New Orleans.

I actually just spent my 50th birthday there with all our friends.

My beautiful wife... we didn't we didn't invite Sophia

No, we did.

Sorry.

Sadly, we had hiccups.

But Rhonda rented the... oh fuck I can't think of the

name... but she rented a mansion in the Garden District...

just a few blocks off of.

We went the week before Mardi Gras and we What?

We ate a lot of food.

We went to a few parades.

I wish I could remember that street.

God damn it.

I can't remember the street.

It was five blocks away from where we stayed.

We're going to share our microphone now.

Hello Mike, hello.

Did your microphone die?

No, I just want to be over here.

You want to be close to your mama?

No, okay.

You do.

Come here.

I kiss you.

Come here.

You said mama.

She's not.

She's not.

She didn't want to go because she's not exactly what you would call an outdoor girl.

Well, no.

The thing is I didn't want to go to Louisiana.

What?

Oh, me and Louisiana?

You mean Louisiana?

Okay, but you said New Orleans.

New Orleans?

New Orleans.

New Orleans.

It's New Orleans, huh?

The sofa down.

The Caesar sofa down.

It's not New Orleans.

It's New Orleans.

This is not the New Atlantic.

Wait, South Atlantic.

Wait, is that what it is?

I don't know.

Oh, fuck.

I need to post some links to New Orleans.

Okay.

New Orleans.

Send them to me.

I might just post them right on the plage.

What plage?

The plage.

You know.

The page?

I was gonna, I was trying to be badass and say I'm

gonna post them to the page for our website page.

I don't know how you, I think it has to all go in the description.

It probably does because I don't know how to get to our website page.

I don't even know how to get to our own website.

What is our website page?

Holy shit.

www.

www.

Or you can just go to letsgetsidetracked .net Net?

Net.

Not org?

Not org.

Not .com?

Not .com.

No.

We couldn't get .com.

We couldn't afford it.

We might as well just be cheapfuckers.org.

Yeah, I mean, or it could be Goatse.

Sophia, thank you for letting me talk about sexual assault.

Yeah.

And my happiness being going to New Orleans.

New Orleans.

New Orleans.

New Orleans.

Red beans and rice.

I see trees in New Orleans.

Shrimp at two five.

Bubba gump.

Gumbo.

I want to say all the happy words that make me feel good about being in New Orleans.

New Orleans?

New Orleans.

New Orleans.

Mama say life is like a box of chocolates.

Mama says she gonna put you in her head.

Why?

Cane cake.

Oh no.

Cane cake.

Ugh.

I remember I accidentally chewed on the baby.

I mean, maybe we didn't talk about that.

I can tell you there was a little plastic doll in there.

Well no, I thought we had already got it.

Oh, was that this past year?

Yeah.

Somebody?

Okay, yeah.

I didn't think...

Okay, so we had a big group of people that

stayed at this mansion in the Garden District.

And we had probably eight cane cake.

Not necessarily just a sweet cane cake.

We had several sweet cane cakes.

Couple of savory ones.

And then we also had some things that we knew were going to taste like this.

And they were like some whipped topping that was like

alcoholic whipped topping that was cane cake flavored.

It was amazing.

And then we had some cane cake flavored liqueurs that we put in our coffee.

Liqueurs?

Liqueurs.

And then we brought home... Okay, I said when we were done, I was like...

We're not having any more.

So Northwestern, we're not having any more cane cake here.

But then I had a taste of the cane cake from Sucre New Orleans.

And I already knew that this company was fucking delicious.

Because we had been to their store and had some of their delicious sweet treats.

And I will be gosh darned if I didn't take a bite.

Sure shooting.

I was sure shooting.

Had a bite of this cake.

That made me wish I could slap my mom right now.

I wish I could punch her in the face and kick her in the side of the head.

Otherwise, this was some very delicious sweet cake.

And I took one of these $30 cakes home on the plane with me.

And so we had that for the next week at our house here in Oregon.

That's not how you say it.

And we had some cake.

We had some coffee.

And I'll be doggone if...

If this kid of mine didn't get that little tiny plastic baby.

But you found a little baby.

And that fucking delicious king's cake.

And I will guarantee any of you.

Bake a fucking cake.

Doesn't matter if it's the right recipe as a king cake.

Which would be like a...

It's a yeast bread with slummy flavors.

Yummy flavors.

Mm-hmm.

It's a sweeter yeast bread.

And then you top it off with either a... You fill it with some cream cheese cake.

Cream cheese filling.

And then some...

What's that?

Frosting?

It's the frosting with the fuzzy stuff.

God damn it.

Sprinkles?

Nope.

Souffle?

Powdered sugar frosting.

Powdered sugar frosting.

Okay.

Cream cheese filling, powdered sugar frosting.

And then you have to put purple, green, and gold decorations.

Any of those cakes.

Make it happen.

Look up on the calendar when you can make those.

And just have a fucking cake.

It doesn't matter.

Cake is delicious.

Cake is delicious any time of the year.

The cake is a lie.

But you gotta have it in the right time of year.

To be able to get the baby and make your dream come true.

So do all of that.

And I can't remember where we're going with it.

With that because I got...

Sidetracked!

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Yeah.

Have a cake.

Wash your feet.

Clean your room.

Do your dishes.

And let's go ahead and get on out from this podcast.

You know what?

Well, thank you everyone for joining us on this very fine Tuesday night.

Almost... In two hours it will be Wednesday.

It might be.

Yeah.

If you guys want to talk about anything, because we can talk about everything,

obviously.

If you want us to talk about anything, give us a holler on the website.

Let us know.

Just say, hey, what do you think about dot, dot, dot.

We have an entire comment section.

Leave a comment.

Oh my God.

We can obviously talk about anything.

That's the second time I said obvious in like the last five minutes.

To be fair-In fairness, obviously.

To be fair.

To be fair.

To be fair.

To be fair.

We can talk about anything.

Oh yeah, absolutely.

And we would love to talk about it, even if it's a tough thing to talk about.

You know what?

Fuck you.

Fuck you too.

How do I talk about my shit bag dog?

Dog?

No.

Wait, no, shit.

How do I talk about my shit bag mother?

I can punch me with-Who smells weird and looks funny.

Shit bag fate.

I do smell weird.

Sorry.

We all smell weird.

No, I got new deodorant.

I actually... I got new deodorant too.

This is not sponsored, but I actually bought the wild...

I bought...

Wild deodorant.

Oh my god, your hair was actually in my pants.

Yeah, it comes everywhere.

I got wild deodorant and it comes with a really cool refillable container.

This is not sponsored, by the way.

I have not smelled weird all week, for two weeks now, But I haven't smelled gross.

Yeah, so.

Okay, we actually should end this episode.

Should we end it?

We should end this episode.

We probably should.

I'm getting tired, so you know.

Oh well, cuz you're a weenie.

Okay.

I don't like you.

Yeah, you're still a weenie.

Alright, well thank you very much for watching this episode.

I hope everyone has an amazing rest of their week.

She's still a weenie.

We hope you have a great week.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

You know, be safe.

And if you don't have anything better to talk about, let's get sidetracked.

Good night, everybody.

Have a great week.

Bye.

Interesting.

It's a real song.

I didn't just make that up.

Well, I assumed.

What are you doing?

Sorry.

I was watching it on the monitor.

Yeah, well, I mean, you can see it, can't you?

It's there, but please don't.

I actually started.

Oh, we're recording?

Oh, shit.

No, I thought it was just... Here I am.

You're moving around.

Well, I was checking to see if Eddie was...

Eddie is... I can't hear him.

I can.

Well, yeah, because he's eating like a meth head.

He has no teeth.

He has no teeth.

No teeth.

He doesn't really have a lower... Oh, yeah, you're right.

He doesn't have a lower jaw to speak of.

So, yeah.

No teeth.

Similar.

I mean, he is not on high speed.

Like, I imagine a person who is consuming meth is.

I'm actually very thankful that the job I work at,

people are chemically impaired by prescription.

Physicians.

Yeah.

Thankfully, yeah.

I mean, yeah.

It's a shame.

I'm glad that Portland has safe injection sites, though, so that's good.

No, me too.

Like, a lot of people bitch and moan about it.

Like, well, why are we giving these people, um, what do we give them?

Needles.

Hey, so, we did not do our intro.

Oh, we didn't.

I was like, oh, shit.

They're not going to know why I'm... It's like...

They're not going to know.

Alright, are we going to do it how we did last

time where we did the, let's get sidetracked?

I mean, we might.

Like, you introduce you, I introduce me, and then...

Is this going to go at the end?

I don't know.

It might go at the front.

I'm not sure.

I'll figure it out.

There we go.

Yep.

Alright.

I thought we had one and a half.

What?

I thought we had one and a half.

What?

That should probably stop this.

That's so weird.

Oh, no, I'm going to get arrested.