Episode 4: The 3% Christmas Episode

Sup, fuckers!

Welcome to Let's Get Sidetracked with me, Sophia, and me, Stephanie.

That is Stephanie.

And you would be Sophia.

I... maybe.

Allegedly.

I mean, earlier today you were.

To be fair.

To be fair.

Welcome to our Christmas edition.

We don't have anything really, really exciting planned.

We were going to do a different show and we were

going to film it and have it on the website.

Yeah.

And then we didn't.

So... I could have set up a camera and we could have just recorded it like this.

Oh, I don't think that's a good idea.

Side profile?

Oh, yeah.

No.

No, not if you like me.

Well, we are actually in a different location.

We are not in my room where we've been recording all of these episodes.

We are in the dining room at our dining table.

In the middle of our house.

Yeah.

So, if it sounds a little bit different, it's because it is.

We are in a different part of the house.

We're trying stuff out.

We might be in a different part of the house next week.

Yeah.

Who knows?

And this is being recorded on Linux, so hopefully it sounds good.

Yeah.

Come on, nerd people.

Get it together.

Yeah.

Record a good one.

Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

So, Christmas...

things.

You said you were not excited about Christmas, really, this year.

Yeah.

I think because I'm not doing what we would have normally done for Christmas,

which is go over to my dad's house.

So, it just feels weird.

Yeah.

Because I've been doing that for 13, 14 years now.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I'll get into a little bit why I stopped going over.

But it's just...

It was a weird ultimatum.

Yeah.

I mean, I see why it needed to happen, though.

Mm-hmm.

And you're totally going to hear you drinking your water on this.

I think you're out of water.

Yep.

I am out of water, yeah.

We also have a mic arm for me now.

Yeah.

Last episode, we were...

It was a little bit of Jenga with a microphone stand shoved in.

It was horrible.

It didn't work, right?

It didn't work.

Because it's because we both got the same... What are these?

Blue Yetis.

Blue Yetis, yeah.

Mine is actually blue.

Yours is not.

Mine is silver.

But it's lovely.

It is.

But we didn't have a mic arm that fit your Yeti, your Blue Yeti.

So, now you do.

I also have a... Thank you, Amazon.

I also have a...

I also have a soft pink mic cover like you.

Yeah.

I love it.

Yeah, and mine smells like plastic.

That's just your breath.

Oh.

Yeah, mine smells like plastic, too.

I wish it smelled like something.

But I don't know what I would want.

You could put some, like, essential oils on it.

Right.

And, oh, I could cure cancer with that, right?

That is true.

You know, all the science is there saying it cures cancer, you know?

That's not what science says.

Mm-hmm.

Nope.

I heard the man that...

talks like a broken CD say that.

Oh, you mean...

Hey, causes can answer, and you gotta make sure you take your vaccine.

Oh, hey.

I think we're getting sidetracked.

Yeah.

So, Christmas, you were gonna explain why you're not going to your dad's.

Merry Christmas.

So, it's... Have a great one.

It's a multitude of things.

It's more than just one thing.

Oh, yeah.

So, I'm gonna start with... So, we can get it out of the way.

It is political.

Mm-hmm.

Partially political.

So, my father, my amazing father, who has done no wrong in his life...

I hear the sarcasm, but it's not really dripping off of there yet.

We're sarcastic here.

This is very sarcastic.

So, he voted for Donald Jonathan Trump, as you know.

He is the leader of the American Fascist Party.

Oh, so... Sorry, I meant Republican.

He's a terrible dresser.

He's a terrible dresser too.

Oh, Trump, not your dad.

I mean, your dad dresses like an old man anyway, so... Yeah.

But we got into a little bit of a heated debate well over a year ago, shortly after

the election, where I explained that he's going to make an

executive order that will harm my rights in parts of America.

And he said, no, he's not going to do that.

He's just going to bring my taxes down and make things cheaper.

But then he didn't... he did one of those, but it's the rights one.

Yeah.

And then made everything expensive.

Exactly.

You know, that.

But also, over there, it just feels hostile.

Yeah.

Because I'm not respected.

Nobody is really respected there.

He was, he wants the respect for himself and for nobody else.

So that's the, that's the unfortunate thing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And as much as I would love the Christmas presents,

the, I think it's about $300 in Christmas presents.

It's not worth it anymore.

Right.

It used to be.

I just can't do it.

Well, you don't get to hang out with grandma over there too.

Cause doesn't, didn't she come over Christmas morning?

Yeah.

You guys open presents and have breakfast and grandma's cool.

We love grandma.

Grandma has her opinions, but the thing is, is she's relatively good at just kind

of putting that aside.

Yeah.

She doesn't fly a flag from her car about... She, she does say some things

that I'll like turn and be like, excuse me, what the fuck?

Pardon me, grandma?

I says fucking pardon.

You do not say that to your grandma.

I don't, but I, I do this.

I, I, I will turn to her and be like, that's interesting.

Yeah.

It's like, you're talking to like a, like a toddler who's having a meltdown.

Oh, sure.

That's interesting.

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

I get it.

Okay.

And then I'm like, well, yeah, but the socioeconomic

climate in my head, I go full communism.

Communism.

Yeah.

I thought you meant socialism.

No, I go full commie in my head, but I am a socialist.

So why does a commie live in your head?

It's the voices, mother.

Oh, how many of them?

One.

Just one.

It's me.

Yeah.

Um, I, if you didn't know, I, in the U S at

least, I would say I'm a democratic socialist.

Um, as that party, you know, has its ups and downs, but overall it believes about

things that are way better in my personal opinion,

as, uh, I would say the Democrat party is.

In terms of their ideals, kind of tries to follow along with the Republicans.

Um, like they will hear something and they're like,

that's bad, but then they'll do the exact same thing.

Well, any politician's going to do that.

That's what politics is.

But I, I feel like the democratic party believes

more in human rights than it does corporate rights.

And that's what I like about them.

Yeah.

But that's the only unfortunate thing is they, they, they say that, and then they

take millions of dollars in corporate funding.

Yeah.

But they also don't make it illegal for you to live.

That is true.

As opposed to the other party that says trans people need to die.

Um, I don't, I don't know if I didn't, I'm not quoting anyone, but with the

amount of legislation introduced by Republican, uh, politicians that limits

the, the rights for trans people and even gay people.

Um, yeah, I'm not down with that.

That's not okay.

I, I've had many problems with the democratic state as they try to make you

think they stand for, um, how's my alarm, but they stand for human rights.

And, uh, I, I don't know the exact number, but most of them take money from APAC.

I'm sure they do.

I'm sure they do.

For those who don't know what APAC is, it is, uh, Israel money.

It's money to support Israel, send bombs to them.

And as someone who supports Palestine, it really hurts to

see a politician who you're like, oh, they're kind of cool.

And then they send billions of dollars to Israel to commit a genocide.

Oh, this is a really interesting Christmas episode, isn't it?

Shit.

It's the Christmas episode.

Okay.

Let's, let's, um...

Let's get back on track.

Let's get back on track.

Yeah, let's get back on track.

So, yeah.

So, what, what were we talking about?

You were changing, you're changing up, uh, what you're

doing at Christmas this year and it's feeling weird.

Yeah, so, um, but politics was included with that.

So, um, yeah, it's, it just doesn't feel like a home over there.

Yeah.

Um, it feels like a play that's being put on.

Beautiful house.

Mm.

It's an all right house.

Yeah.

I mean, it's new and it's shiny and...

It's... ...big.

Well, it was built in 2007, I think.

Yeah, that's new compared to our house that was born in 1967 or 69.

I think this house was built in the forties.

No, it was, it was the sixties.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

I have to ask Rhonda, but, uh... Well...

...67 or 69, you could Zillow it.

Yeah.

Or Zillow.

Zillow.

Zillow.

Zillow was, was our communication, uh, program at work that we use over the phones.

Wow.

It's a little different.

Uh, speaking of work, I got to work Christmas day.

So that's going to be fun.

Yeah.

Uh, although Thanksgiving was, was not too bad at work.

Built in 1969.

1969.

Woo-woo.

But in 1969, they had aluminum wiring.

Yeah.

That feels a little bit... Oh, the fifties was all about aluminum.

Yeah.

Well, the reason is...

War.

War.

Yes.

And it's cheap.

It's, it's cheap too.

So... An old...

You're sending all the copper to massacre people.

Good, good reason to massacre some people.

Oh, the, the, you mean the German fascists?

And yes, I, Nazis, bad.

I think we can all say that getting rid of the, we didn't get rid of the Nazis.

We just got rid of Hitler's regime.

The Führer.

We got, yeah, we got rid of the Reich.

Mm-hmm.

Um, but the issue with that is there was also...

...hundreds and hundreds of thousands of civ, civ, civilian casualties that were

inside of Nazi Germany... Oh, there were millions.

...who were not Nazis.

There were millions of casualties.

And that, as some people will try to debate, never happened.

Right.

And they're full of shit.

But then we have to look at the casualties of, um, many people who may have not even

been Jews... Oh, yeah, absolutely.

...but were, but were assumed to be Jew-y.

Well...

Well, the whole, um... Eugenics.

Uh, the, the derogatory term for the people is gypsies or Romani.

Mm.

Um, they were also targeted by, uh, the regime.

Yeah, and now there's a, uh, My Gypsy Wedding or whatever.

Oh, my gosh, I know.

My, my great, my big fat gypsy... Oh, my, no, that's Big Fat Greek Wedding.

No, that was the, the one movie, was Big Fat Greek Movie.

But, uh, it's, uh... Yeah.

My American, American Gypsy Wedding?

Something like that.

Let me look it up.

Hang on, just a minute.

I don't know what it has to do with Christmas, but, you know... Not a damn thing.

Yeah, um, I think it's an interesting, I think it's an interesting thing to talk

about when you... Uh, it's, it's My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding.

That's a, that's a dumb name.

It's a, kind of a dumb show.

Well, the whole concept of it is basically children.

Getting married.

Yeah, pretty much.

So... Getting, getting married lavishly.

Except 90% of the ones on there are the most

white trash weddings I think I've ever seen.

Yeah, but they have really pretty dresses and lots of sparkly stuff.

Yeah, it's a pretty dress and then they do the boot scootin' boogie.

Hey, hey.

Yeah, don't you, don't you besmirch Brooks and Dunn.

I tell you what.

I'll do it, I damn well please.

Yeah, but you remember there are consequences.

The consequences?

The consequences.

Your dog is snoring over there.

I don't know if you can hear her.

Yeah, so Perla is right next to me because we have these

bench seats that look like they came out of a 50's diner.

60's, 50's, 50's, 60's diner.

50's, yeah.

Um, Chevy Bel Air, think of that.

Yeah.

Basically those seats.

Yeah.

Um, they're nice.

They don't have a ton of lumbar support.

But they're not terribly uncomfortable either.

No, they're not.

Yeah.

Um, except I'm like trying to have like the posture where

you sit up but like I'm still like, I'm still like a turtle.

Oh yeah, no I'm shaped like a C right now.

Am I a turtle only for the turtle club?

I have never seen that.

I don't know what it, you're gonna have to show me that.

I'll have to show you that.

Yeah.

But it's, it's a dude with a big turtle neck

and he goes toot toot toot toot toot toot.

Which also has nothing to do with Christmas.

Yeah, no it has nothing to do with Christmas because we got...

Sidetracked!

So, I'm working Christmas Day.

Uh, Rhonda does not work Christmas Day.

Lindsay doesn't work Christmas Day.

Which is weird.

Yeah, I know.

Well, no, her store's not open on, on Christmas.

Which is weird.

Uh, yeah.

So, you know, she, she gets, um, certain days

off that she has to swap out with other days.

So, didn't she have Thanksgiving off?

Rhonda?

Yeah.

Oh yeah, but the restaurant was closed that day too.

Yeah, but isn't there some work that has to be done?

Oh yeah, she just has to go and check out the cleaning crew in the morning.

Yeah.

So it's like stupid early in the morning.

Yeah.

Um, you know, it's getting, it's getting really, really late into December.

And I have no Christmas gifts for anybody.

I have no idea what I'm gonna get them because I have $10 in my bank account.

Ah, okay.

Which, I feel like, it's the thought that counts.

It doesn't necessarily need to be expensive.

Not at all.

Um, which, you know, I think the whole point of Christmas is to...

So, gift the people you love with things they love.

Yeah, yeah.

And spend time with them.

That's the part I like.

Meh, meh, whatever.

I mean, with you having to work, I don't know exactly how that's going to go.

I think we'll probably do like we did on Thanksgiving,

and we'll probably just eat early in the day.

Like open presents?

Yeah, yeah.

Because Lindsey's still going over to your dad's Christmas Eve.

I don't know.

I assumed that Rhonda and I would order you a pizza, and then we'll go over to

Toby's for a little bit, because you're not going to sit around and play with us

like we have dolls.

I can't even go in there.

No, you can't.

Stupid law.

I can vote.

I can buy a machine gun.

I can have a child.

Go to war.

I can go to war, but I can't drink a little bit of booze.

Or even be where the booze is dispensed.

I just want to sit at the bar.

I don't want to drink.

I don't like drinking.

Like if I could have like a soda.

Soda, like an Italian soda.

Oh, yeah.

Just like...

And you could totally do that, but Oregon State is, you know, like it is.

Or even just a fucking cranberry juice.

Ah, do you like cranberry juice that much?

What do you mean?

Do you like cranberry juice a lot?

I like cranberry juice.

Oh, okay.

I'd just drink it if I, like, had it.

Yeah.

There's certain cranberry juices that I don't like.

I don't like the ones that are super tart.

Yeah, yeah.

I just like the ones that have like a... like I

can feel the tartness, but it's also really sweet.

And it's sweetened, yeah.

Yeah.

Cranberry juice, fucking... Oh, cran grape was sprayed in it.

Cran grape was sprayed.

Oh, it was so delicious.

Even... you don't even have to drink, and you could just, like, make that.

Mm-hmm.

And you don't even have to put some vodka in there.

No, you don't.

You can, but... If you want to, yeah.

It's a free country.

And it tastes good with or without it, though.

That's the thing.

Yeah.

Between white men.

Yeah.

But we're getting off track again.

You mean sidetracked?

We are.

Off track.

I just didn't want to say that.

This is the podcast.

This isn't let's get off track.

This is the side... Fuck!

This is the who?

It's the sidecast.

It's the sidescast.

This is the sidetracked podcast with me.

Yeah.

And me.

Yeah.

I have bought a few gifts.

Mm-hmm.

I've done some mail order stuff.

Not much, though.

Like, I need... Why'd you order at Amazon?

No.

I ordered one thing for Lindsay that's not Amazon.

And...

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, the gift.

Actually, we can say it because it's coming out...

This episode's coming out day of Christmas.

Oh, yeah.

That's right.

And she doesn't want to listen to us because... It's stupid.

It's stupid.

Podcasts are dumb.

Yeah.

Eh.

I got her a card game that is cards... Yeah, Game Against Swifties.

So it's... Oh, God.

It uses the Taylor Swift songs and things about Taylor Swift that you can fill in,

like Cards Against Humanity, with funny things.

Yeah, massive corporate entities.

Taking the likeness of a famous person.

Now, this is not a massive corporate entity.

It's probably bootleg because it was only, like, $24, so...

Well, it could have been... No, they can't afford that.

Yeah, it's not... I'm sure it's not licensed.

I'm sorry, Big...

I'm sorry, Big Potato.

I'm sorry.

Big Potato?

You're just a small company.

We actually have a few other games.

Oh, Big Potato Games.

Yeah.

Yep.

And then I found something for you.

What is it?

And I won't tell you.

Can you describe what it may be?

It's square.

Square.

Oh, bomb.

No, those are round.

They can be cylindrical, too.

Yes, they can.

That's actually what I was talking about.

Look, if you're looking down on the top of a bomb, it's...

Why are we talking about bombs again?

Well, because...

No, I didn't get you one of those for Christmas.

Or your birthday.

Because we don't blow things up.

But it's fine.

No, it's not.

Let's talk about...

No, this is the Christmas episode.

Never mind.

Oh, no.

I was going to talk about how I hate fireworks.

Not because they're loud, but because of how dangerous they are and how people

don't understand how dangerous they are.

Oh, yeah.

I have every single year on 4th of July, a new video pops up

where somebody's hand looks like a plum pastry or whatever.

Oh, yeah.

Which just gets blown to pieces because they're stupid.

Yep.

Yep.

They're...

Oh, they're so scary.

I don't even really like... I mean, I like to see them because they're pretty.

I like sparkly stuff, you know.

But like animals, there's so many animals get lost and killed that day or a couple

days before and after, too, because people are stupid.

Even the few days before, people will be setting off fireworks.

I don't think fireworks should be illegal because that's more dangerous.

Mm-hmm.

That causes people to make... Make fireworks.

Build their own, yeah.

Which have set forests on fire because they're so dangerous.

Well, shoot.

The Columbia River Gorge burned a couple years ago because

some dude wanted to use a Roman candle or whatever it was.

Also, the kids that will put a Roman candle on their butt cheeks.

Oh, right.

That still happens.

Oh, yeah.

I actually like the ones that do bottle rockets and they don't realize that

rockets use fire as propulsion and the fire goes backwards as they're...

The rocket goes forward because they're... Dumbass.

Yes.

Dumbass.

They're dumbass.

I was going to say stupid, but yes, you're right.

They are stupid.

They're dumbass.

I don't think they're stupid.

They're dumb as shit.

Mm-hmm.

That's not stupid behavior.

That's dumb behavior.

Yeah, it is.

But, you know, you got to be, you know, braver than

your friend and they, you know, it's just dumb.

Just smoke meth.

Right?

Like all the other ones.

Does that...

We took a left turn there.

Yeah.

Fireworks to meth?

But if you're going to do something...

If you're going to do something dangerous, at least

have a better time than burning your butt cheeks.

I mean, it's cheaper than meth.

This is the Christmas episode.

Oh, it's because we got sidetracked.

So, Christmas Eve, yeah, I don't know exactly what our plans are.

That's just tentatively Christmas Day.

You know, I guess when Lindsay gets home from your dad's house, we'll get up and

open presents and I don't even know what we're going to eat on Christmas.

Why is she... Why is she going over?

Ah.

Oh, we had talked about how she doesn't like confrontation and stuff like that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But, like, at some point... She doesn't enjoy her time over there.

Yeah.

Which, I think she's just doing it to try to keep peace, but, you know, I just...

It's up to her.

She's an adult, so she can do what she wants to.

Unfortunately.

Yeah.

Because if she's an adult, what am I?

Well, chronologically, you're an adult.

Yeah.

Hey, you made a dentist appointment today.

You're totally adulting.

I did.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I've even cursed out a few employees.

I'm sorry.

You did not.

You did?

Oh.

Okay.

It's not their fault.

Let me explain.

Let me explain.

It was one of the worst...

I didn't curse them out, but I was really

loud with them because they were being rude.

Oh, yeah.

No, that's not... It was with OHSU.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

And they were being...

I'm trying to get you to understand.

Oh, yeah.

I know.

I remember you telling me about that.

And then I cried.

Well, yeah, because... I cried.

I mean, nobody likes to have people say mean stuff to them.

Well, like, it was just because I...

I'm going to say I've been dealing with, like, insurance stuff,

wanting us to pay thousands of dollars because they suck.

Well, it's because they...

One hand didn't know what the other one was doing, and so they just...

One of them was jerking it.

No, I'm pretty sure that didn't happen.

But insurance didn't get paid because OHSU didn't send...

Or insurance didn't pay the bill because

OHSU didn't send the requested documentation.

And I don't even know if they have still.

Me neither.

And they took that frustration out on the consumer.

Mm-hmm.

We're not patients.

We're customers.

Yeah, unfortunately, that's true.

And for Luigi, that's all I'm going to say.

And I heard that he didn't get his Miranda rights.

He didn't.

He didn't get rid of his Miranda.

Mm-hmm.

So, what now?

Not sure, but there is a possibility it could be dismissed entirely because

without Miranda-izing someone... Miranda-izing?

Miranda-izing.

Yeah.

Miranda Cosgrove.

No.

No Harley here.

Yeah.

It's possible it could be...

But could they file new charges and re-arrest him?

Well, the issue with that...

Is that a lot of the times, there is...

I forget what it's called, but it's where they dismissed it and they cannot...

Double jeopardy.

Yeah, double jeopardy.

Yeah, but he has to be tried for it.

And the thing that I personally think about trying him is they are not going to

be able to find a biased jury, a non-biased jury.

Oh, absolutely.

Everybody knows about it.

No, it's that everyone has had issues with insurance.

Yeah, that's true.

So, nobody's going to be like... Oh, I feel bad for the insurance man.

Well, I mean, he was a human.

Barely.

You know, in theory, he was a human.

I think humans who prevent other humans from being able to live aren't humans.

That's not nice.

But speaking of double jeopardy, that's a really great movie.

Have you seen it?

Double Jeopardy?

Yeah.

Ashley Judd and I think it's Samuel... It's not Samuel L.

Jackson, is it?

I don't know.

I have to look it up now.

It's been too long since I've seen it.

Oh, no, it's Tommy Lee Jones.

Yeah, because they look so much alike.

Timmy John John.

Timmy John Jones.

Still not talking about Christmas.

Tastes like chicken.

It's because we had chicken for dinner.

It was delicious.

It was really good.

Yeah, no free advertisement.

No.

Except for that donut place.

Let's give them free ads for advertisement.

Oh, yeah, they gave me a Vietnamese coffee.

Boba, Boba Mochi?

Boba, Boba... I think it's Boba Mochi.

Boba Mochi.

It's right next to Super Chicks where we got our food.

Yeah, absolutely delicious.

Mochi Donuts.

Yeah, so good.

We could have those for Christmas if we wanted to

circle back around to the Christmas conversation.

I mean, yeah, we don't know what we're going to have for Christmas.

Christmas food?

Food for Christmas?

Food for thought?

We had ribs for Thanksgiving.

That was a delicious dinner.

Oh, yeah.

I was thinking maybe we just make like a big pot of mac and cheese.

But not everybody loves mac and cheese like we do.

Here?

Here, yeah.

They're dumb.

I'm dumb?

No, they are.

Who is?

Who doesn't like mac and cheese?

Oh.

Yeah, I love mac and cheese.

It's delicious.

I do, too.

I even like bad mac and cheese because there's no such...

Oh, yeah, there is.

Correction.

Yeah.

Let's talk about...

I had...

When I was in summer school, they gave us mac and cheese that was so confusing

because it was both hard, dry, and wet.

That sounds horrific.

All of those words strung together.

Please stop.

The outside was moist and wet.

Was it moist?

And the inside was rock hard and dry.

That's so weird.

Well, I think it was baked and then baked again.

Oh, baked and then baked to heat it up?

Yeah.

Ew.

I didn't eat that.

No.

Because they had said they were going to have food.

And I was like, okay, they're going to have food.

That's fine.

All I ended up having were raisins.

Oh, my.

That sounds sad.

And a juice box.

We're going to take a quick break.

And let Sydney out.

The dogs.

Yeah.

If you haven't, don't hear that squeaking noise behind us.

It's Sydney.

Hopefully enjoy this music.

We'll be right back with you.

And welcome back from that break.

It's Boba.

Boba.

What does it say?

Boba Mochi.

Boba Dochi.

Boba Dochi.

There we go.

Boba Dochi.

Boba Dochi.

Boba Dochi.

I know that was completely off topic from what we were talking about.

But the show is called...

Let's Get Sci-Trak'd.

That was excessive.

Huh?

That was a lot.

I'll show you a lot.

I can't kick the dog.

Oh, no.

Ruh-oh, right?

So, what's your favorite Christmas tradition?

Presents.

Money.

Give me money.

Nom, nom, nom, nom.

No.

Honestly, my favorite tradition...

I can't say a tradition because I don't have one.

But it's the feeling of Christmas.

It just kind of feels so nice.

It feels warm and fuzzy.

I feel like when you get someone that you love something they love, like you were

talking about, they're just so excited because you

did something for them that they really wanted.

Even if it wasn't an expensive thing.

Even if... Like, they just wouldn't buy it for themselves.

And you get it and they're like, oh, my God, this is exactly what I wanted.

I just thought about those videos, you know,

it's like, um, Brat gets upset at Christmas gift.

And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

No.

They are a child.

Yeah.

You're the adult.

Yeah.

And they're upset because they didn't get something they wanted really bad.

Mm-hmm.

And that they may have told you many times it's what they wanted.

And you got them something like...

Peach cobbler, whatever.

I don't think anybody would be upset about getting peach cobbler.

You got them, like, a Barbie doll and they're like, I wanted a truck.

And then you're mad that they're upset and you post that online.

Mm-hmm.

You're a shit parent.

Now, there are some parents who get their child every fucking thing under the sun.

And then the kid's mad because they didn't get...

I don't know.

I don't know why my gaming consoles, but... I didn't get my... My diddler.

Huh?

Okay, that sounded much worse than I thought it was.

I think we need to have a talk off air.

No.

You know, say the kid wants an Xbox 360.

Mm-hmm.

But then they get him...

I mean, I know they're not around anymore, but...

They get him a PlayStation 5 or whatever.

That kid is amazing.

They wanted an old console and you got them a new one.

I'd be mad, too.

I want that 360.

Fuck the PS5.

This is back when 360s were brand new.

Well, yeah, but the PS5 came out in 2020.

I don't know why consoles, okay?

PS3.

Anyway, anyway, they get them the different brand, even though it's,

you know, it may be cost twice as much as the other thing.

Yeah.

And then the kid's like, that isn't my thing.

And he throws it on the ground or she throws

it on the ground and just stomps away and is...

Those are little brats.

Although the parent, if they're going to spend that much money...

Just fucking buy the one they wanted.

Or just take them on a, like a little trip.

I remember one of my birthdays, I wanted a specific game and I got the wrong one.

I remember what I did.

I was like, this wasn't the one I wanted.

And I can't remember who, it was someone here in the house.

And they're like, oh, that's fine.

We can go exchange it.

I'm like, okay.

It was Titanfall.

I still remember.

Oh, okay.

I wanted Far Cry.

Yeah.

Oh.

I wanted Far Cry 3.

And I got Titanfall.

Titanfall is a great game.

Yeah.

It was just not the game that I wanted.

Now, there was a time, once upon a time, that you did act like that.

But through a lot of work and counseling and...

Hey, that counselor was awesome.

Yeah, but I think it was more that I just grew up...

When you were away from a really volatile situation.

Parental shit.

And I think knowing that people could treat each other with respect on both

sides, that it definitely helped maybe change you a little bit, changed most of us.

One of us, it turned the other way.

I think a lot of it has to do with Rhonda, to be honest.

Like, Rhonda was strict.

Yeah, she was definitely more strict than I was.

And I think it was for the greater good.

Oh, absolutely.

But she's worked in so many kitchens, and she's had so many children that she's

had to deal with, that she's really good at it.

She's dealt with enough line cooks.

Yes, yes.

Well, and some managers, too.

Yep.

Fuck you.

Shut up!

You can't say that!

Oh, my God.

We're going to have to cut that out.

I am going to cut that out and say fuck you.

Okay, thank you.

Yeah, yeah, there you go.

Fuck you, Bill.

So, okay, the Christmas feeling is your...

Yeah, the Christmas...

So, Sydney was just chewing on a piece of cardboard, and she spit it out,

and then I looked at her, and she whips her head back and looks at me like, what?

What do you want?

Bless you, baby.

I love the way she sneezes.

Oh, yeah, her whole face gets all messed up, just like a human face.

It's the way her eyes close.

So, it's like...

And then she sneezes.

But then... I'm not going to do it.

She's upset that we're making fun of her.

What?

We got her during the pandemic, so she's afraid

if somebody sneezes on her, she's going to die.

But yeah, the Christmas feeling is just so nice.

And my favorite part is the day after Christmas,

when I get to really dig into the stuff that I got.

Yeah, get to relax.

Yeah.

Last year, I got...

What did I get last year?

Oh, I got a server rack last year from my father.

And great server rack.

I still think it's excessive, because I have three things in it.

But it's so nice.

I think eventually I'm going to replace it with a small, rolly one.

Now, out of curiosity, did he ask you for a Christmas list?

Nope.

Oh, okay.

Okay, so... Also, I have him blocked, so...

Oh, on social media or, like, your phone and stuff?

I don't use social media, so I don't really care.

Oh, okay.

But, like, his phone number.

I do use social media, but he's not going to call me for that, so... Yeah.

Yeah, I'm not really much of a social media person anymore.

I used to be...

Like, I still occasionally...

Facebook is my biggest issue right now, because

I go on there to go look on Marketplace.

Yeah.

And then I just end up scrolling.

Endlessly.

Scroll, scroll.

And then I get to, like, a sponsored post by ICE,

and then I'm like, why is this showing up here?

Yeah, I haven't run into one of those.

Thank you for putting that into my phone's ear poles, so now I'm going to get it.

I actually prefer that I get ads for ICE, because that's money they're losing from

their ad budget on someone who is already radicalized.

Ah, okay.

Just in a different way.

Yeah, there you go.

I like threads lately.

Mm-hmm.

But people are fucking funny.

On threads.

I actually just joined threads, just because you wanted to mention me.

Yeah.

And then you didn't mention me.

It's because you joined after I had posted already.

But I told you, wait, I'm going to join.

Yeah.

Because I just needed to download the app, and that was it.

Because everyone already has a threads account.

Yeah.

If you have an Instagram account, you have a threads account.

It's your name is your Instagram username.

Yeah.

There she goes again.

Yeah.

Your name is... Name is your Instagram username.

And I post on Instagram maybe once annually.

But as of the last five years, it's about once every two to three years that I post.

I post several times a month.

Because a lot of my friends are not around this area.

And so I like to be able to show them what we're doing in our life, whether it's

lunch out or some cocktails or with a dog or sitting in the hot tub or whatever,

you know, I like.

Doing that.

Yeah, I... because I don't have a ton to post.

Everything that I want to post, I post other avenues.

Because a lot of the people that I have on

Instagram is just like family and extended family.

Yeah.

And I'm like, they're probably not going to really care about my RTX 3080 51.

Is that a thing?

No.

Oh, okay.

RTX 3080 is, that's what I have.

Oh, and what is it?

Graphics card.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm with you now.

Oh, I got a Tesla P4 for my Jellyfin server.

Oh.

For anyone who knows what that is.

It's for video encoding and decoding and transcoding.

Ah.

So it was born as one kind of code and then it...

It takes in one kind of code, drops it down to a lower quality, then poops it out.

Oh, that doesn't sound like... Out of its butt.

It's a binary butt.

It's binary.

It's a binary bunghole.

It's a turd cutter.

Ew!

Now you just got gross.

That's my favorite term.

That's nasty.

It's a turd cutter.

You're nasty.

Yeah.

It's still on my desk because I need to get one of

my 3D printers working because it needs a shroud.

Oh.

Yeah.

It's meant to go on a server that has like hundreds of PS or pressure behind it that

can just fucking... I can't go through anything.

And I wouldn't do that.

My mother is using a pair of scissors to scratch her back.

They're closed.

Still.

It did the job.

That's true.

My arms don't bend like that.

Mine don't either.

I can't reach it.

I just got a HIV shot.

No, I got an HPV shot.

But when I got into the car, I was like, yeah, my arm hurts.

I got an HIV shot.

I was very confused.

And I went, do you mean HPV?

Yeah, HPV.

Pivot.

It's like, they explained it to me and I was like, does it hurt me?

And they're like, no.

And I was like, okay.

Well, the human papillomavirus, it's an STI.

It is one of the major causes of...

Cancer.

Reproductive organ cancer.

Reproductive organ cancer.

So if...

It gives you a much better chance of not getting any of those things.

And, you know, back when, you know, the girls were younger, we did them for them.

And then, you know, you just kind of fell off the wagon.

Once you weren't going to your pediatrician anymore, because he was

awesome, but he retired and his replacement was... Ma'am?

Excuse me.

We're doing a podcast.

Here, this is important work.

Yeah, shut up.

Yeah.

She was something else.

Yeah.

And then we didn't do it for you.

I don't know why.

Things happened.

Oh, COVID happened.

Oh, yep.

Yep.

And then I got old enough to where I made my own health decisions.

And I like to think I make the best decision for myself possible.

You know, since I agree with most of them, I would agree with that.

That's a great statement.

Yeah.

I, as someone who, this is the Christmas episode.

Of course it is the Christmas episode.

So, I'll just say, it's so weird saying it in front of my mom.

I've never had sex.

That's okay.

So, I don't have as big of a concern of getting an STI.

I'm also not planning on being a slut.

No shade against sluts.

Be a slut.

Be a slut if you want to.

Be a slut.

Slut.

It sounds like fun.

It does, doesn't it?

It does.

It just sounds like a lot of work.

It does.

A lot of laundry.

My back would hurt.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, but if it could help me later on...

Yeah, that's the thing, is it doesn't stop working once you turn 25 or whatever.

I mean, everything should stop working for you once you turn 25.

Eh, usually after you turn about 45, it stops working.

Oh.

Oh, I just meant body...

Like, not those particular parts.

I just meant, like, my... You know, my hips never hurt.

And then I turned 50, and all of a sudden, I got creaky hips.

My hips creak now.

Well, you're falling apart.

Yeah.

And that's, like, one of the things, as I'll mention to someone, and I'm like,

my hip really hurts or my back really hurts.

I'm like, no, it doesn't.

You're young.

Why do you... Why could you even hurt?

I'm like, no, my hip fucking hurts.

And I love how people try to tell people that...

They don't hurt.

Like, you know, one condition called fibromyalgia is really misunderstood.

And I think there are a lot of people who mention

that they have it for reasons that are not medical.

I say fibro... I like...

When I hear the word fibromyalgia, I'm like, fibromyalgia.

I want Bill Nye to say it to me.

What about Neil deGrasse Tyson?

Neil deGrasse Tyson, he could say it to you.

He...

He...

I love you, Neil.

Sometimes you need to shut up.

You know what?

Honestly, anybody who's got a public platform...

Your brain is that big, I wouldn't shut up either.

Right?

Both of them.

Like, if I had those many... that many accolades, I would never shut the fuck up.

Yo.

And I talk a lot anyway.

Could you imagine if I was actually smart?

Pfft.

Yeah, I...

I feel like he would say it like...

So fibromyalgia is a pretty... pretty interesting disease.

Kind of like a... I don't know.

Oh, yeah.

But Bill Nye would be like, fibromyalgia.

Fibromyalgia!

Bill Nye the Science Guy.

Boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo.

That's one thing that... that would...

You don't have a job.

Why are you huffing like that?

I don't have a job either.

What am I talking about?

Why are you huffing like that?

Um, that was like early transphobia, actually, is Bill Nye.

Not Bill Nye as a person.

Yeah.

But Bill Nye, your mom's a guy.

That was something that we said in school a lot.

Oh.

Because Bill Nye the Science Guy.

Yeah.

And we would say, Bill Nye, your mom's a guy.

Oh, okay.

That's transphobia.

Well, I mean, did you say, and she sucks?

No, but I think it was just the, your mom can't be your mom because she's a guy.

Oh, right.

But I also think it wasn't necessarily transphobia because I think it was saying,

your mom is as ugly as, like, a guy.

And maybe it just, um, rhymed because Bill Nye the Science Guy, Bill Nye,

your mom's a guy.

Yeah.

Which is like Gen X.

Bill Nye, I'm gonna pee in your eye.

Your mom, you know?

We still say that.

You did not.

I did.

You did not.

Bill Nye, I'm gonna pee in your eye.

Oh, I was talking about your mom.

No.

We're not peeing in anybody's eye.

Not like, not that it's not, it's a bad thing.

If you want your eye peed in, go ahead and get it.

But not in our house, please.

Also, don't.

That is unhealthy.

It sounds painful, actually.

Yeah.

I mean, if you think about it, the human urea is at its base.

Mm-hmm.

Doesn't feel very nice.

No.

No.

I was a grade A bed pisser up until a few years back.

Mm-hmm.

I say grade A because it was every night.

Up until about 2020, even.

It stopped when I turned around 14, I'd say.

And I still have no medical consensus of why it happened.

Yeah.

I think early on, it was stress.

Mm-hmm.

But I don't know... I had more stress than I was when I was a kid.

Well, but now you know you have stress.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't know if...

Wasn't it better when you didn't know?

It was so much better knowing nothing.

Nobody should know anything.

It's better when you know nothing.

Oh, they say ignorance is bliss.

They are correct.

And they also say irony is a virtue.

And... Patience is a virtue.

Mm-hmm.

Why is irony a virtue?

I mean, irony is a virtue because everything is ironic.

Don't you think?

I love it.

I love it.

I love it.

Shut the fuck up.

Also, this is the Christmas episode.

And we are talking about pissing in our eyes and pissing the bed.

I mean, if you can't talk about pissing in your

eye at Christmas dinner, what can you talk about?

What is this?

Is this what the liberals want?

Ah, those goddamn liberals.

You know what it is?

The gay agenda.

It's that trans-jimber.

Oh!

We were in trans-jimber.

Oh!

Oh!

Sydney is currently snoring.

Sniffing our oldest dog like he is a lollipop.

She loves him.

And if you heard last week's episode, I hope, because I haven't edited it yet.

We are recording this on December 15th.

And this is going to go out on the 25th of December.

Christmas Day!

So, a week and some change later.

Mm-hmm.

So, that's... If you wonder why we don't really talk about...

If you wonder why we don't really talk about really up-to-date topics,

it's because that's not the point of this show.

But also, this show isn't up-to-date.

I'm not even sure what the point of this show is.

Me neither.

The basic idea was, we'll talk about one topic, and then we'll get sidetracked,

and then come back around and finish talking about the other.

We don't pick topics.

We actually don't have a topic.

And I wrote a whole bunch down last week when we were recording.

But they were just conversation starters.

They weren't topics.

Yeah, that's true.

That's true.

But you know what?

I'm going to read them to you, because... Yeah.

We wrote them at the end of the last episode, but...

You might edit that out.

Who do we know?

I might edit that out.

I actually have only got about 20 minutes into the episode.

You should get your shit together.

Well, I haven't felt good.

Oh, that's true.

That's true.

So, that's the reason that I haven't had my estrogen patches.

And that completely annihilates your sleep, because hormones...

are... Important.

Really important.

See, now you know what menopause feels like.

It's shitty.

Yeah.

And I'm warm, sweaty, and irritable, and ugly.

You're not ugly.

Wretched.

Well, you know what?

It's not the HRT that does that.

You're just ugly anyway.

Ooh.

So...

That was mean.

I did read this down, didn't I?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Here's three human rights.

Number one.

The death penalty, and animal abuse.

Let's kill them.

Animal abusers.

Not the kids.

No.

Fuck.

The kids?

The dogs.

No, let's not kill the dogs.

If you know what?

If a dog attacks you because you were kicking the shit out of it... You deserved it.

Yes, it does.

If a dog is attacking you because you have

a yummy sandwich, give the dog the sandwich.

Just drop the sand-o.

Or just...

If the dog has balls, kick him.

Do you think that works the same?

What?

Kicking dogs in the balls?

Oh, absolutely.

Absolutely.

Okay.

Because I know I watched that video from a few years ago where the bear was

scratching its back on a gate, and then the bungee let go and whacked it in the nuts.

I laughed my ass off.

Think about it.

Almost every animal's genitalia is relatively the same thing.

It's all similar.

And I don't mean like the shaft of the penis.

But I mean, they have the same parts.

Yeah.

Well, you haven't seen a buck.

Please don't say shaft.

A buck?

A buck?

Have you seen a buck's wiener?

Uh-uh.

Good.

I don't want to see it.

Don't ask why I've seen it.

There's this video...

You're telling us why you've seen it.

Yeah.

When you said don't ask.

Shut up.

Oh.

What?

Sorry.

What?

So, you know the videos where it's like they're reading off a Reddit story?

Yeah.

Yeah.

One of the clips that some channels used for a while was a buck.

Fucking a rock.

I mean, that's safe sex.

Nobody's getting pregnant.

Like a builder.

Right.

Like the buck was like this?

He was mounted it.

Yeah.

He's not getting pregnant.

Worst video I think I've ever seen in my life.

Yeah.

I never want to see that again.

That's pretty horrible.

Geese.

Oh, yes.

They're corkscrew shaped.

Ducks, geese, swans.

So crazy.

They have very similar... Yeah.

Why are we talking about penises?

Because it's a Christmas episode.

Yeah.

That's... If we can't talk about duck penises at the Christmas dinner...

What can you talk about?

This is what the liberals want.

This is what it is.

It's the gay agenda.

Get all over again.

They don't want us to talk about duck cocks.

Yeah.

But like we were saying with balls, most animals that

have balls, because some animals have them inside of them.

Yeah.

But they are basically just really big nerds.

Yeah.

Well, what I learned after I had a partial hysterectomy, I

had a lot of scar tissue that was like entrapping my ovaries.

And my doctor explained that ovaries are really just internal gonads.

They're internal testicles, essentially.

And they're just as tender, just as easy to upset as testicles are.

So, essentially...

I had someone squeezing my balls inside and had to end up taking those out, too.

Which is why I was on HRT, but I had to go off of it earlier this year because I have

migraines occasionally.

And I had one with an aura.

Can you explain what an aura is?

It's different for everybody.

Explain what it is to you.

Mine was in my right eye, essentially.

I could see a big sparkly shadow.

I could see a big sparkly shadow.

Did it follow you?

No, it just followed my eye.

I could see it.

When you look into a light and then you see the light every time you look around,

it was like that.

And it kind of wiggled on the side of my face.

It looked like it wiggled on the side of my face.

I thought I was going blind.

Scared the shit out of me.

But Google did me good this one time.

I googled...

Why am I seeing... And it said, you're probably having a migraine.

And so I took migraine medication and I went to bed.

And like with any migraine I would get, a few hours later, I wake up and I was fine.

But due to having that one with an aura, my doctor told me that it would increase

my risk of having a stroke if I was on HRT.

So I had to go off.

Bames, John.

Having a strong... Having a strong... And I call the Bambalins.

I don't want to have a stroke.

I don't want to have a stroke because that's terrible.

But I also miss having estrogen because now I'm on a different kind of medication.

I'm trying to get rid of some of the side effects of...

Well, the effects of menopause.

And man, if... Ladies, if you are raw dog in menopause, you... Ladies and gentlemen.

You are correct.

I'm sorry.

Yes.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Ladies.

Friends.

She's, hers, they's, them's, and gay's.

If you are raw dog in menopause, God love ya.

Or God ass love ya.

God blah blah.

God blah blue.

Because it's bullshit.

Yeah, I have something called floaters.

Yeah, yeah.

I hate them because occasionally, especially under fluorescent light,

it looks like things are running around.

Yeah.

If you don't know what floaters are, think of it like you have long hair.

And your hair is kind of like in the wind, and it's kind of like in front of your eye.

That's basically what it looks like for me.

It looks like I have hair in my, like, my vision.

In your vision.

How I just punched my mic.

And I hate it because I don't like how it looks.

Yeah.

And the thing is, is they are very common.

Yeah.

Mainly when you get older.

And they're harmless, too.

So I, actually, I was looking into something called...

Refractory lens exchange.

And it's, it's essentially the surgery that they do

for cataracts, where they replace the lens in your eye.

Because I have terrible vision.

And, you know, I have allergies.

My eyes are almost always, like, itchy or sticky.

And it can help with the vision portion of that.

And I, I did not talk to the company that I was going to talk to about it.

Because I looked online.

It's not covered by insurance.

And it can, it can run about $4,000 an eye.

And I'm like, wow.

I don't hate my glasses that bad.

I don't like my, my night vision.

But I, I, I don't hate at $8,000 worth.

I love my glasses, honestly.

Your glasses are super cute.

I love wearing glasses because I've worn them my entire life.

Yep.

And I look weird without them.

Yeah, you do.

My fit.

No, you do.

Because you always have them.

You always have them on.

So when you don't have them on, your eyes look tiny.

Imagine I was just like this forever.

Yeah.

And a lot of the things with getting surgeries like LASIK is they are not forever.

Nope.

Mine, mine was not.

I got it in 2014.

And by, you know, 20, what, 2019, I had glasses again.

Because I have astigmatism and I am farsighted, which is dumb.

One of my friends has...

It's like LASIK, but it's a different process.

Yeah.

I forget what it's called.

There's a bunch of different surgeries that you can...

But after about three years, he was back wearing glasses.

Yeah.

Because he started getting foggy, like, peripherals.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

And once he went back to wearing his normal

bifocals glasses combo, because, you know, old man.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He was perfectly fine.

Yeah.

Nice.

And I think that's with a lot of people, especially people that have bad vision

already, especially with astigmatism and the other one.

If you don't know what astigmatism is, it's when your eyeball is not shaped round.

And so your focal point of your vision is

not in the correct placement on your retina.

Sydney agrees.

The audio levels jumped to red.

Oh, yeah.

We're going to take a quick break and we will be right back.

We'll be right back with you.

Enjoy more music.

And we are back from the break.

And Sydney didn't go outside again.

She just wants attention.

She's a little shit.

So we're talking about astigmatism.

There's also nystagmus.

Fuck that.

Oh, nystagmus?

Yes.

I've seen people with nystagmus.

And it is crazy.

Like, you can't even do it on purpose.

And their eyes just do it.

Like, the left to right nystagmus is the...

the one that I've seen most commonly.

There was an actor in The Mentalist who plays J.J.

LaRoche who is the, like, internal affairs investigator.

And the actor actually has it.

And I was watching his eyes and I was like, holy shit.

Because they were just... Bigger guy?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, he was in House also.

And that was one of the things he talked about.

You know, honestly, a lot of people who are born with albinism, Mm-hmm.

they will have it their whole lives.

Now, correction.

Now, to say that doesn't mean they live in Albany.

That means that they have a condition called albinism.

Where's Albany?

New York.

Oh, okay.

Because, like, Albany is in Oregon, but... Albany.

Albany is in... Albany.

Albany.

We're in Albany.

And then there's Albuquerque.

I'll punch you in the head if you don't stop.

Shut up.

Excuse me?

Skank.

Skank.

I will... You know what?

I will skank you.

I don't even know what that means.

That doesn't sound right.

I don't even...

What's your favorite Christmas movie?

Because we're on the Christmas episode.

Oh, gosh.

I have a lot of them because I love Elf.

I...

It has been one of my favorites since it came out.

I love Elf.

Christmas Vacation.

Christmas Vacation.

Shitter's Full.

Yes, I love that.

And then I also love A Christmas Story.

Why is it called Christmas Vacation?

They don't go on a vacation.

No, because the vacation movies.

Yeah, but Vegas Vacation, Europe Vacation.

Well, people have Christmas Vacation from Christmas through New Year's.

Like from school or from work, they have Christmas Vacation.

I forgot there's vacation days.

Yeah, yeah.

When I think of a vacation, I think of you go somewhere.

Yep, yep.

They did a staycation that year.

Yeah.

Vegas Vacation.

Vegas Vacation.

Mwah.

Mwah.

Fantastic.

Yep.

I think...

I have a few, but if we're going based off of like my favorite classic.

Mm-hmm.

My favorite classic, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

Ah.

From 1964.

With the little gay dentist?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Or it is...

I'm trying to remember what it... What is the name of it?

Any of the Rankin cartoons?

The stop motion animation.

Mm-hmm.

The... Like a town without Chris... Christmas?

A town without Santa.

Yeah.

And then...

Oh gosh.

There's a couple of them that are just awesome.

I think Sydney just died.

I heard her... I heard her... I heard her collar hit the ground.

She's physically fine, but she will lay down and then just flop her head on the

ground because she didn't get what she wanted.

Yeah.

I think if I have an all-time favorite... Rankin and Bass.

That's what it is.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Uh, I think if I had an old...

What was that?

I think Chewie sneezed.

Chewie!

You okay, big boy?

Why does he look like that?

What?

Um, it's not technically a Christmas movie.

And it's not Die Hard.

Um, it would have to be The Nightmare Before Christmas.

It's just such a good movie.

It has Christmas in the title of it.

How could it not be a Christmas movie?

It's a good movie.

Senor Elfman.

Ah, creepiest cool guy.

I would love to meet him.

I haven't met him.

I just like hearing him talk.

I feel like he would try to take my blood.

Yeah, yeah, he might ask.

Well, he would ask first, though, I feel like.

He likes consent.

Yeah.

Um, or it would be Christmas Story.

I think that's just, like, such a classic.

You'll shoot your eye out.

Um, and then he did it.

Yeah.

Oh my god, I shot my eye out.

Uh, at work the other night, we watched the Christmas Story, Christmas,

the, like, sequel with a grown-up Ralphie.

It was not terrible.

Yeah, but still.

It was sad because the dad had just passed away.

Uh-huh.

Um, the mom did not pass away in the movie, but the

person playing her, Melinda Dillon, she passed away.

Uh-huh.

And so she was played by an equally great actress.

I can't, her name, first name is Julie.

Caramel Del Toro.

No, her first name is Julie.

Uh-huh.

And I want to say, it's not Walters.

Uh, no.

I gotta look it up now.

We have the endless resource of Wikipedia.

The liberal Wikipedia.

No, IMDB.

TVDB is way better.

Oh, I just use IMDB.

Yeah, I just don't like it because it's owned by Zamahom.

By who?

Amahom.

Amazon?

Amazon.

Oh, here we go.

Um...

We call it Amazon because I don't know how to say Amazon.

It's Amazon, but sometimes I say Amazon.

Amazon.

Uh, when you were a lot younger, you called it Amazamazom.

Excuse me.

Um...

Julie Haggerty.

That's, that's who plays Mom.

That's an unfortunate name.

Oh, she, no, she's a great, she's been in... You're a Haggerty.

You, it, when you see her, you, you've seen her in hundreds of shows.

Yep.

Yeah.

Yeah, she's one of those actresses.

She looks like one of my old teachers from, like, elementary school.

Um, so... Weird.

Yeah.

That's definitely, it's a fantastic movie.

It...

And it's a good remaster in terms of audio.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because it's super crunchy.

Mm-hmm.

A lot of the really loud scenes.

I think that is just a problem of 70s movies.

Yeah.

Is that they were in the process of switching from...

I think it was an 80s movie, though, wasn't it?

Yeah, but I, I just mean in terms of audio equipment.

Oh, okay, okay.

They weren't using stuff from the 70s.

Um... Yeah, A Christmas Story was a 1980s... 1983.

Okay.

Yeah.

Uh, is that we were still switching from mono recording to stereo?

Yeah.

Uh, even though it had come out many moons ago.

Sure.

Uh, stereo recording, the first people to do it, I think, were the Beatles,

uh, to do stereo recording.

Oh my gosh, I don't know.

Uh, I'm pretty sure it's the Beatles.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

We don't have a fact checker.

Oh, they will.

They will definitely correct you.

They will correct you.

Yeah.

The, the collective podcast, uh, audience.

Let's see.

Who...

Who was the first to use stereo audio for music?

Oh, but that Christmas movie.

Oh, the, the Christmas, Christmas Story Christmas.

It was actually really cute because, uh, in the story, the dad had passed away.

And so, uh, Ralphie and his family go home, uh, and he's got to write his dad's,

uh, obituary.

Um, back in the day, the obituary was written, uh, and placed in the newspaper

so that people who didn't live close to you would know your business.

Um, or... Or... Or...

The end of your business.

Um, without, you know, every... You're having to call everybody.

Um, people make jokes about getting up and, how's your day going?

Well, I didn't, didn't see my name in the obituary, so, uh, it's going pretty good.

Um, so he had to do that.

And, you know, he's got two kids.

His wife is really funny.

Um, uh, I can't remember who she, who was airing someone.

Um, but it was, overall, it was a cute movie.

So, they're...

They're a producer that, the producer of pretty much every Beatles album,

uh, pioneered stereo sound recordings, techniques.

Yeah, okay.

So, they weren't the first, but I think I had

just heard something about them in stereo audio.

Ah.

And that they had perfected it.

Yeah.

Because if you listen to a Beatles song, it

is immaculate the way they were able to do...

I'm not a massive Beatles fan, Beatles fans, Beatles fan.

Um, I just...

The history... I think I've talked about this.

Not on this show, but just, like, in general.

Without the Beatles, we would not have a lot

of musical techniques and a lot of artists.

Mm-hmm.

There's a lot of artists where, like, the

Beatles were, like, the reason I make music.

Yeah.

And then I'm like, what about all the other ones?

What about all the other really good musicians?

Well, I mean... What about Harry Connick Jr.?

Hey!

Don't hate on Al Harry.

You know, a lot of jazz musicians were not credited with the birth of rock and roll.

And, you know, most of the white guys and girls that

got famous, they just re-recorded black artists' music.

Mm-hmm.

And that is a really big debate that we could

get into, but not on the Christmas episode.

Yeah.

The Christmas episode that I would say had nothing to do with Christmas.

We've talked about Christmas.

We talked about our Christmas trip.

There are the different traditions we like.

Oh, I didn't tell you my Christmas traditions I like.

I... One of my favorite things... I don't want to...

Spoiler alert.

Santa does not fill the stockings.

Shh!

Yeah.

That's a spoiler alert!

Those little shit fuck kids listening.

Hope the fuck not.

Fuck you children.

Oh, don't fuck the children.

Oh, damn!

No, that's a little harsh.

Yeah, but if you're listening...

You should not be listening to this.

Don't clean your room.

And wipe your butt.

Tell your mom she's pretty.

If she's not pretty, don't say that.

If she's not pretty, don't say a fucking word.

I've seen some moms.

I've seen some dads, too.

I've seen some MILFs.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, the MILF industrial complex.

The MILF and DILFs.

MILF and DILFs.

MILF and cookies.

So, that's actually one of my favorite things,

is to wait until everybody goes to bed.

And then I get to sneak in with my rattly plastic bags.

Some of the best... Not now.

I don't have any plastic bags.

Some of the best things have been from your stocking stuffers.

One of my favorite things was a little, like, novelty radio.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

The little tiny thing.

It's in one of my bins because the antenna broke.

Yeah.

And I want to fix it, but I just don't know where to buy antennas from.

I've looked everywhere.

It would be Radio Shack, but they don't exist anymore.

There is a...

A ham radio outlet.

Oh, yeah.

It's over by the... The Harbor Freight.

Yeah.

Well, I was going to say the Bottle Drop.

Yeah.

I've been in there a few times, but you can tell it's nerdy because one of

the employees' trucks that is parked out front has

antennas all over it and his call sign on the back.

Oh, boy.

Like, he's like, I want you to come to me.

CB radio is an expensive but interesting hobby.

CB is different than a ham.

Yes.

Ham is from a land... a base...

No, but I was saying that just like the premise of you basically have your own...

Your own channel.

Yeah, you just talk, whatever.

Yeah.

Also how from space, the ISS every once in a while will be like, call our call sign.

We'll respond to you.

That's...

There's many videos where people are standing out in their yards with these big

probe antennas in their hands... Uh-huh.

...with a little tiny... ...like walkie-talkie thing.

Uh-huh.

And they're like, this is Lake Omaha, Jameson, blah, blah, blah.

Right.

To International Space Station.

And it will go...

Hard to hear from you.

Hope you're having a good day.

And then they put it down there like...

Oh, nerd bliss.

And it's like a six-year-old grandfather and I'm like, I love you so much.

Right.

I didn't... You didn't...

You just walked all over my conversation about stockings, you jackass.

Fuck you.

Hey, to be fair... To be fair.

You have told me twice to shut up.

I'm sorry.

So I get two this time.

Shut up.

Skink.

Skink, I should say.

Rude.

But just the little bits and bobs that you put...

Candies, you know, the chocolate orange, the, you know, just little, little tiny...

Like, it's a big bunch of stuff in a little tiny place.

And I just...

I always love to do that.

Something I just remembered is when you were shopping for all of the...

For some little stocking stuff or things, I asked you to

get me something and I just remembered you never got me it.

What was it?

I asked you for the bread, the squishy bread.

Oh, it's because they didn't have it.

Oh, damn.

Yeah.

That's fine.

Yeah, but there was this, like, baguette that was really floppy and squishy.

It looked like a sea cucumber.

It felt like a sea cucumber.

They also had a pickle one.

Yeah.

And I really wanted one, but it was, like, $10.

And I was like, I need $10 for other things.

So I did the adult thing where I put away the toy

that I knew would go into a trash can at some point.

Yep.

They only... When we went back, they only had the butter.

The little butter.

But a dog.

But a dog.

A dog with a butter.

Yeah.

I mean, the butter still would have been pretty fun, but... It would be.

Yeah.

You know, hindsight is 20-20.

It is, isn't it?

Also, stocking stuffers.

Sorry.

No, that's... No, that's fine.

That's fine.

That's fine.

I told you to shut up and leave.

I let you... And I finished.

Yep.

Yeah.

You also used to get us these chocolate oranges.

Mm-hmm.

They must have changed something, because they don't hit the same anymore.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I don't know what changed, but I think a lot

of chocolate changed in the last few years.

I mean, because it stopped...

We started being like, hey, maybe we should

stop doing child labor on little African boys.

I thought it was South American boys.

I don't know.

And girls.

Yeah.

And thems.

And thems.

I don't know what that was.

That was dead air right there.

That was just dead air.

You know, I was going to make a real fucked up joke anyway.

Let's not.

Because this is the Christmas episode.

Because this is the Christmas episode.

And we've already talked about duck penis.

We've talked about pissing and eyeballs.

These are going to be in the description.

Yeah.

It's going to be, welcome to the Christmas episode.

We talk about pissing in eyes, duck penis.

And at the end, it's like, oh, yeah, we also talked about Christmas.

And we talked about a couple of Christmas things.

Yeah.

Oh, my grandma gave me, last year for Christmas, one of her homemade trees.

One of her homemade ceramic trees.

Oh, yeah.

And I recently learned that was an extremely

common thing in the 70s for house moms to make.

Yep.

They were kits that you could get.

Mm-hmm.

And they also had classes that you could... She took ceramic classes.

Mm-hmm.

I can't remember where, but it was somewhere close to where she lives.

Somewhere in Oregon.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, it was close to where she lives.

And she... So, one, six... I don't know.

I actually don't know the address, so it wouldn't help.

I just know it's the one on the corner.

Yep, it is.

Or just the house that I know.

Exactly.

Just grandma's house.

Mm-hmm.

And so, yeah, they used to make these trees, and they were kind of like light

brights, where there was one light, and there was a light bulb in the center,

and then there were just clear, like, pegs, almost.

They didn't really... Yeah, a little clear plastic.

They didn't really look like light...

They were supposed to look like old-school, like, light

strips that you'd have on the outside of your house.

Yeah.

But, yeah, the biggest issue with those is you can't find them anymore, and they're

the number one thing that gets lost from them.

Yep.

It's the star on top is the thing that gets lost.

Luckily, you can actually get those stars.

Yeah, you definitely can.

Well, and especially now, since people have been raiding their

grandparents and parents, they've been raiding their tombs.

For old-school Christmas stuff.

A few years ago, those got really popular again, and they're just so much fun.

And when I was with your dad, we always had out the Christmas...

It was always on the end table in the living room.

That one broke, and then was put back together.

It got knocked off a table some year.

I can't remember if the tree broke or the base broke, but it's back up now.

You know what?

Never.

It never broke while I was taking care of it.

That's true.

But once one of... that Dutch woman came in.

Rude.

I'm kidding.

You're all right, Dutch woman.

You know who you are.

She does not wear wooden clogs.

Also, they can't even access this podcast.

Why?

Years ago, I blocked their IP address because they were reading my blog,

and I don't know how to unblock them.

Because Cloudflare... Oops.

Cloudflare changed the...

I don't know how to unblock their interface, and I

have no clue where it is or what setting I enabled.

I cannot find it for the life of me.

Also, if the war in Russia ends, I'm not going to be able to unban Russia.

I have no clue how to do it.

Well, I mean, I feel like that's okay.

It's all right if Russia doesn't listen.

Sanctioned, bitch.

Not during this presidency, they won't.

I mean, we still have sanctions.

A lot of the sanctions...

There's also something called corporate sanctions, where the company will just be

like, we're not working there.

Yeah.

Except most of them are lying, where they will, under the table,

license the likeness of the brand, and they'll just be like, change the name,

but it's the same thing.

They still have McDonald's.

Yeah.

It's just not called McDonald's.

McDowell's.

They still have Coca-Cola.

It's just not called Coca-Cola.

Coca-Cola.

They also still have, like... Like, chocolates.

They basically have everything still, but it's just not main brand.

They basically went right back to the Soviet Union.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And how everything was... I mean, that's what their leader wants.

That's what our leader wants.

Honestly, I think if the Union went back, I think it would be just fine.

Yeah.

Honestly, as long as there wasn't Stalin, I think everyone would be happy.

You know, I'm still just not a fan, because human rights violations, left and right.

Well, that's the... That's the issue with communism.

Socialism, on the other hand.

This is the Christmas episode.

It is the Christmas episode.

I don't know.

It always comes back around to politics, doesn't it?

It always comes around to socialism.

And those queer transgenders.

Those transgenders.

Yeah.

I've actually met a transgender.

Not someone whose gender is trans, but somebody who's really into trans and is trans.

Jesus Christ.

No, not like that.

Oh, I thought you were joking.

No.

Oh, okay.

She's from... She's from the Bay Area.

Uh-huh.

And she makes flip signs for trams.

They're called streetcars there.

Same diff.

Yeah.

Streetcars.

She makes signs for them.

She sent me a picture of these really big things that she ends up folding over.

And she showed me the gears and everything and how they work.

They're so cool.

You know, one of these days, we're going to have to take you to the Bay Area.

And they have...

They have the Cable Car Museum.

Yeah, cable cars.

They're cable cars.

I was wrong.

I said streetcars.

The Cable Car Museum actually has a giant window where you

can look into the cable system that runs all of those cars.

That's so cool.

It's so neat.

We saw that years ago.

I think cable cars are just a...

Someone with autism was like, I really like it.

Well... And then it never died.

It's because...

Because of the hills, the hilly areas, they had to figure out some way because

that's the big wiggly street, Lombard Street.

That's the reason it's a...

Do you know why it's a wiggly street?

Why it's what?

Do you know why Lombard Street is a wiggly street?

That's the...

Is it because of the streetcars?

Well, it was because the horses kept tripping and

dying as they were going down that steep ass hill.

And so they did... They did the cutbacks.

Cutbacks?

Back, back, back.

Imagine being so weak that you trip and die.

It was... It's a really steep hill.

It's like a 40 degree angle.

45 degree... Let me... I'm going to look it up.

So here's the picture.

What do you look at right now?

This is how the signs work.

Ah, cool.

And they go into these little boxes.

Mm-hmm.

I thought I had more photos, but I think

that might have been on a server she sent me.

But yeah, she mainly works like on stuff like that.

She does it as a hobby and as like a job since

that's like a 50, 60 year old hobby or like job.

Oh, yeah.

People don't really do that anymore.

No.

So I did look up Lombard Street in San Francisco, according to AI Overview from

Google, located in the Russian Hill neighborhood.

It's famous for its crookedest one block section.

Featuring eight sharp hairpin turns, manicured gardens, and classic homes.

Attracts millions to drive or walk down its path.

Designed to reduce the steep grade.

And that's one way you can only go down it.

I feel like if engineers really existed, they could have done a better job.

Well, they did, but I mean, it happened in the 1920s.

Mm-hmm.

And we did so many good things in the 1920s.

Shit.

We did so many nice things.

We did so many nice things in 2020.

Mm-hmm.

Not nice.

Yeah, a hundred years later, and we were still beating black people up.

Nice.

That was sarcasm.

Okay, thank you.

Not nice.

I was like, what?

Yeah.

We went from...

Because racism has never ended.

Why are we... This is the Christmas episode.

It's because it's the Christmas episode.

Okay, the Christmas episode, we're going to talk about anything but Christmas.

But basically, yeah.

Last week, we talked about Christmas.

Maybe we should release this, the other one first.

Or the other one, Christmas week.

Shit.

I don't know.

I'll have to finish both of them.

Yeah.

And then we'll determine.

Because in this episode, we didn't say what episode it is.

Mm-hmm.

Which I think we should stop doing.

Actually, you did say that what day it was going to come out.

Yeah, I did.

But, like, also, I can just remove that.

That's true.

The magic of editing.

This is coming out on the 15th.

I just put in... Not the 15th.

December 15th.

I just cut it out and went, like, yeah, I think this

is going to come out on December 23rd at 12 a.m.

You could.

I think, yeah, this episode would be coming out on the 24th.

And I actually really need to edit an episode because it goes out later this week.

Mm-hmm.

And I have to do everything.

Yeah, of course you do.

Because I don't do things.

I have to edit it.

I inhaled some fluffs.

I have to edit the episode, and then I have to transcribe the episode,

and then I have to listen to the episode.

That's the worst part.

Right.

Because I have to listen to the entire episode more than once.

These episodes are shit.

Well, no, it's because they're long.

Yeah.

And they're word heavy.

I realize, speaking of words, I realize while

I was sitting how many times I say yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, I say yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Well, to be fair, well is the biggest...

I need to do like a word cloud of the words we use.

Oh, that's a good idea.

And it's probably going to be like, well, yeah, and like fuck, shit.

And penis.

Penis.

And then for some reason, duck is there too.

Oh, yeah.

Yep.

See, there's yeah again.

It's going to be the biggest one.

How many duck penis... Imagine the third biggest word is duck penis.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I just...

It could be.

It could be.

Trout penis.

No, please stop.

I'm sorry.

Can we just stop with the dicky conversation?

Well, this is the Christmas episode.

Yeah, it is.

You're right.

Christmas episode.

Yeah.

And Choo Choo is asleep on the couch.

And I think after the 25th, actually after this

episode, I think it's the last one for the year.

Yeah, it would be.

Because then there's only one week left.

Damn.

What about that, folks?

Yeah.

We haven't been doing this for very long, but we do an episode a week.

Yeah.

Yeah, there we go again.

Yeah, we do.

Oh, yadda.

Can you...

Is there any way we can tell how many people have actually listened to the show?

How many people listen?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I'm going to open up the analytics for the show, which aren't exactly accurate

because people don't listen directly from the website.

And it might actually be more than this because of how Apple Music and Apple

Podcasts, Spotify, Spotify Podcasts, how that

works, is I actually can't see that exactly.

Oh, okay.

Because they cache the episodes so they can play whenever, even if the service is down.

Oh, okay.

But let's go to letsgetsidetrack.net.

Oh, let's go to slash admin.

I actually really like the interface for the podcast.

But it is actually quite difficult to use.

Quite difficult?

Yeah, but I've already set it up.

So I can't really change it.

So you set it up difficultly?

Dumb shit.

So this month, episode downloads, which normally means listening,

but it is more than this.

I can almost guarantee.

55 monthly downloads.

What?

Mm-hmm.

For that one episode that we have released?

We have two episodes.

Oh, we do?

That's right.

Yeah.

And if we go to unique listeners, we have...

Yeah, because this isn't exactly accurate.

It's at 12.

Yeah?

But I know it's more than this.

I thought it was going to be like four.

Listening time, on the other hand, is at 48 hours.

Wow.

It ranges from about five hours a day to two hours a day.

So people are listening to the whole thing.

The lowest it has ever been was the first episode, because it was only 30 minutes.

And it ranged from about 37 minutes, which is the entire episode, to about two hours.

Wow.

Yeah.

The most popular platform is Apple Podcasts and Unknown.

And then it is Chrome, and then Spotify,

Firefox, and Deezer, and then that's Google Bot.

And then...

And...

It's as we hear, episode by service.

Apple Podcasts, Spotify, the website, Listen Notes, Google and YouTube,

Podbean, Podaddict, Podaddict, and Superfeeder.

Wow.

I really only understood...

Three of those we aren't even on.

Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and then Nerdplace, Nerdplace,

Nerdplace, Nerdplace, and you know what, I'm going to say, I say Nerdplace,

I fucking love nerds, so please don't think that's a bad thing.

Nerdy people are my people, because...

So guess what... They just are.

By, for the past week, what do you think the first country that is the most popular?

Of our listeners?

Mm-hmm.

I want to say the UK.

Nope.

It is 80%.

United States.

Really?

United.

The United States.

Why did I say it like Forrest Gump?

The United States.

And then it is Switzerland, France, United Kingdom, and Germany.

Wow.

So it's 5.7% Switzerland.

We need to get us some Australians.

5.7% France, 5.7% United Kingdom, and 2.9% Germany.

Holy shit.

And for the past year, but this is according to it, 76.4% United States.

Mm-hmm.

9.1% France, 5.5% United Kingdom, 3.6% Switzerland, and 1.

8% Hong Kong, 1.8% Singapore, and 1.8% Germany.

Wow.

Yep.

I did not expect it to go anywhere past Oregon, honestly.

Yep.

And the most popular...

Wait, what is this?

The most popular...

Time to listen to the episode is at the 14th hour of the day.

So 2 in the afternoon.

Mm-hmm.

And Friday is the most popular for us.

Because we have new episodes that day.

We release on Friday.

Yeah.

And then Saturday, and then Sunday.

Wow.

Actually, Thursday and Friday are our biggest, biggest times.

Probably because of how time zones work.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

I'm actually shocked.

Thank you.

You too.

Holy crap.

Thank you, France and Germany trailing in there.

I hope so.

Sweden.

Hello.

You've been doing that on purpose.

What?

Each time I'd say something, you would say a new word.

No, I wasn't.

I was not listening to you.

Yeah.

So, and our bandwidth is not that bad.

I'm going to deck you right in the nose hole.

Ow.

That was weird.

Yeah, we have... I'm going to hit you right in your nose hole.

Hazel cavity.

We have two episodes.

Currently, our first episode is the most downloaded,

but that's because it has been up the longest.

Yeah.

Episode two... There it was again.

I got to say it.

I got to figure.

Affirmative.

I have to have a new yes word.

Episode two came out four days ago.

So, that's why it's not...

It's just now taken some flight.

Yeah.

Not a ton of comments because, like I said, most people are using...

Apple, which you can't comment on unless you leave a review.

You can review, though.

Yeah.

Please review us.

And subscribe.

Give us a five star or a four star.

Get us five.

Are there five stars on Apple?

Yeah.

Oh.

Can you give a five star rating?

Yeah.

Totally give us a five star rating.

Even if you don't agree.

If you give us a one star rating, I'll cry.

Yeah.

Nobody wants to see that.

Some people are into that.

I won't cry.

I don't know.

Some... Yeah.

I won't consensually cry.

I won't cry.

Yeah.

If you ever want to leave a comment that we'll

be able to see, go to letsgetsidetrack.net.

Or if you are on threads, use a hashtag LGSpod.

And I will check every once in a while.

I'll put that down in the description.

So if you're on threads, you can do hashtag LGSpod.

And we'll answer questions under that.

Hashtag.

As it's easier than just making an account.

I do need to make an Instagram account for the podcast.

Excuse me.

Sorry.

It was just... I will do the... Oh, look at that.

Sorry.

I will do the Insta...

You set it up.

And I will do...

What?

What?

Oh.

Huh?

Since I yelled, I decided to slow down a little bit.

Mama said... Mama... Mama said... Oh, my.

What'd you do?

I almost exited OBS.

Stop.

Which means I almost ended this episode prematurely.

Which is the reason that I was born.

That's gross.

Ew.

Hurts my brain.

Almost exited prematurely.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, my goodness.

Why is that so funny?

Why is this shit on the Christmas episode?

Yeah.

So...

Yeah.

I think it's time to end the episode.

I think it's time to end the episode.

I think it's time to go.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We talked about too much weird shit today.

Too many duck penises.

Yeah.

Oh, today is the... Is this...

National Duck Penis Day?

It is not.

Is today or yesterday was the first day of Hanukkah?

Of what?

Hanukkah.

Yesterday was the first day of Hanukkah.

This is the first day of Hanukkah, I think.

Because we've said Christmas a lot, but we haven't mentioned Hanukkah.

Yeah, or Kwanzaa.

Kwanzaa hasn't happened yet.

But happy whatever denomination holiday.

Happy whatever you celebrate.

Christmas, I think anybody can celebrate as the spirit of it.

As a giving holiday, not necessarily a...

As a giving holiday, as a spending time with family and friends holiday.

I think it's for everybody.

I think we can reclaim it as a strictly Christian

holiday, because it never was only a Christian holiday.

You just said that we can reclaim it as a Christian holiday?

No, we can reclaim it from being a Christian holiday.

Okay, I think I missed a couple words in there.

It is what it should be to you.

I think you can do whatever you damn well please.

It's a free world.

Mostly.

Slightly, somewhat.

As long as you're celebrating Christmas, it's a free world.

I don't understand how Hanukkah works.

I just know there's like a good song by Adam Sandler.

There's actually two.

Please don't sing.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Oh, for not to mention, thank you Blind Blake, the record company behind Blind Blake.

That song came out almost 100 years ago, and they gave us a copyright claim.

What?

Mm-hmm.

So our little intro, we got a copyright claim on?

No, it's when we played Blind Blake in the middle

of the episode, when we were talking about blues.

Yeah?

I played it for 15 seconds, because I thought we would get away with it.

Yeah.

Because that song is so old.

Yeah, no, no.

So do you have to take that out of the...

I don't care enough to.

It also says that it won't affect the video being watched anywhere.

Oh, okay.

Also, I don't think there's any such thing as copyright claims on podcast platforms.

But if they told you to stop playing it, is that what they did?

No, they just said that that part of the episode

would be affected later on if we started making money.

Oh, okay.

From YouTube.

If you want to become a...

If you want to sponsor us, go to email podmaster at letsgetsidetrack.net We're

going to be very, very choosy about who's going to be our sponsors, though.

If you're BetterHelp, you can fuck right off.

I mean, BetterHelp's okay.

They tell... They just had a thing with the Israeli government.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

That was like, if you suffered from October 7th, use our platform.

And I'm like...

October 7th or October 6th?

October 7th.

What happened on October 7th?

The...

Hamas-led attack.

Oh, fuck.

Yeah, that's right.

Now, I should say, horrible day, October 7th.

That should have never happened, but it didn't happen inside a vacuum.

No, no, no.

A hundred years of history happened before that.

Yeah, that's true.

They've been locked inside an open-air prison for hundreds of years.

I say hundreds of years, because historically, the people of Palestine,

and I should say Falestain, because inside the

Arabic language, P doesn't really exist anymore.

We're getting way deeper than we needed to for the Christmas episode.

And also, we were going to end the Christmas episode.

Ten minutes ago?

This is probably going to be the longest Christmas episode.

The longest episode.

It's going to be our longest Christmas episode

so far, because it's the only Christmas episode.

I think what I want to do is later on, I think we should do the specials where we

do only one of us records our own and we talk about whatever we want to talk about,

and we each get our own one every once in a while.

Where we can just talk about whatever we want alone.

And it's just us.

And then the other one has to shut the fuck up?

Well, where the other one's not even in the room.

Oh, okay.

I mean, I still have to hear it because I edited it.

It's so much easier when it's a conversation though.

Yeah.

It's actually so much easier to edit when it's just one person.

I bet it is.

So maybe we'll try to have a topic and have it written out

so that it's maybe something that we read out and comment on.

It might be easier to not get sidetracked.

Except that's the whole point of the show.

And you know, you know we can't have a conversation without getting sidetracked.

Even ones we're not sitting behind mics on.

Yeah, and especially when Chewy is getting sad.

But I do think this is the end of the Christmas episode.

Yeah.

And I think it had nothing to do with Christmas.

Mostly not.

Yeah.

3% Christmas.

Thank you everybody for joining us here on this weird, weird episode.

Extremely weird episode.

On this minor Christmas episode.

And we will see you next year in 2026.

That's a big fat lie because we're not going to see anybody because this is a

fucking podcast.

Okay, we're going to talk to...

We're going to talk to you, you fucking...

Fuckers.

Fuckers.

Oh, so many F words.

But you know what?

I don't know if we talked about this before but fuckers is a general neutral term.

It's a gender neutral term.

And I say fuck you.

Bitch.

Wow.

That's a lot of Fs.

Thank you very much for watching this episode.

Have a fantastic holiday.

Oh, Chilly just tripped on my foot and then tripped again.

Mm-hmm.

I hope you have a fantastic day.

And thank you so much for watching.

This has been Sophia.

You're not watching it.

They're not watching it.

Thank you very much for listening.

This has been Sophia.

And I'm still Stephanie.

Thank you very much.

Goodbye!

Bye!